Happy Halloween…

Tags

Creature, Film, gore, Halloween, horror, pumpkin, Wolf Man

This, among many, is a holiday I don’t really do too much on. But I drew this picture for you guys.

The Wolf Man and The Creature (10/2007)

Dead man loses fingers even though his ID was found in hand…

Tags

autopsy, coroner, fingers, hand

“Wait, what?”

Reuters posted a story last week about a dead man’s fingers being cut off for identification purposes, despite the fact that his ID was in his cold dead hand. I don’t know who to feel bad for… the guy who has to stick his fingers together for the funeral service or the corpse whose fingers were unjustly removed.

Where’s me fingers? (10/2007)

Today’s entry is short… maybe I am getting ready for Halloween.

The detective who showed me death…

Tags

classroom, death, funny, humor, kill, laughter, murder, mustaches, sociology, Suicide

I’m in this Sociology of Murder class. It’s pretty awesome, as all we talk about are weird murder cases and what not. My teacher is a captain of detectives or something in my city. The other day, he brought in one of his detectives to talk to us about some of the real life cases he’s worked on in town. I was pretty excited about the whole thing.

Funnily enough, both my teacher and the detective sported a mustache. Two walking cop clichés right there in front of me. Long sleeve dress shirts, plain colored ties, tie clips, and mustaches. This new detective was pretty funny. I imagined him to be that cop who says crazy shit during interrogations. My teacher was the quiet type, the “good cop” to this guy’s “bad cop.”

Anyways, this guy walked up to the front of our classroom and said, “Okay guys, so I am going to show you some pictures. They are not for the weak of stomach or the faint of heart. If you have to leave, that’s totally fine. Your teacher will see you next week.”

I knew exactly what was going down. He was to show us people of dead people. And dead people, he showed us. Hundreds upon hundreds of pictures of dead people. Suicides by hanging, gun shots, stabs, people who jumped off buildings, strangulations, and even a guy who was shoved in a toilet. This guy has seen it all.

The best part is that this guy would joke about each picture while most of my class was horrified. Me and this other kid were the only ones laughing. Is it weird that I think dead people are funny?

Interestingly enough, was how some people killed themselves. 80% of the suicide pictures he showed us, the people got naked first. Like they didn’t want to fuck up their outfits with blood or brain particles. What about the fucking carpet?

Careful with that Rope (10/2007)

Top 12 Films to Watch on Halloween

Tags

1982, Chucky, Evil Dead, Halloween, horror, John Carpenter, Movies, Sam Raimi, Wes Craven

What did you say about my mother? (10/2007)

Most of this list is pretty obvious, as every other website on the planet has posted damn near the same titles, but who cares. This is the list of films I am going to watch (or already have watched) around the Halloween season, and a quote that makes them so damn memorable.

1. The Exorcist (William Friedkin, 1973) – “Your mother sucks cocks in Hell, Karras, you faithless slime.”
2. The Thing (John Carpenter, 1982) – “We’re going out to give Blair the test. If he tries to make it back here and we’re not with him… burn him.”
3. Friday the 13th Part 3 (Steve Miner, 1982) – “Well first we take our clothes off, then you get on top of me or I can get on top of you.”
4. Frankenstein (James Whale, 1931) – “You have created a monster, and it will destroy you!”
5. Texas Chainsaw Massacre (Tobe Hooper, 1974) – “My family’s always been in meat.”
6. Nightmare on Elm Street (Wes Craven, 1984) – “He’s been in the John pukin’ since he saw it.”
7. The Wolf Man (George Waggner, 1941) – “You’re the gypsy that’s been filling his mind with this werewolf nonsense!”
8. Young Frankenstein (Mel Brooks, 1974) – “Are you saying that I put an abnormal brain into a seven and a half foot long, fifty-four inch wide gorilla?”
9. Nosferatu (F.W. Murnau, 1922) – “It will cost you sweat and tears, and perhaps… a little blood.”
10. Evil Dead II (Sam Raimi, 1987) – “Your love was a lie and now she burns in hell!”
11. Halloween (John Carpenter, 1978) – “Death has come to your little town, Sheriff.”
12. Child’s Play (Tom Holland, 1988) – “You stupid bitch! You filthy slut! I’ll teach you to fuck with me!”

What are you watching this festive season?

Applying to Graduate School can suck it.

Tags

admissions, College, degree, diploma, funny, grad school, graduate school, GRE, humor, SAT

Hi, my name is Mike Bronson and I am 26 years-old. I’ve been working non-stop since I was 16. When I was 19, I got an Associate of Science degree in Film Production from some lame/expensive private school. When I was 21, I decided that film production isn’t for me. So I chose to go back to school and get a traditional degree at a real college. I then started to attend Community College, where I received a real Associates Degree when I was 24.

Now, I am about 5 or 6 weeks away from walking away from college with my Bachelor’s Degree. I thought this would be the end of it until I realized that there really isn’t money out there for a free-lance journalist like myself, and my day job isn’t exactly paying all my bills. I don’t think I can handle living this way, in a shitty apartment (because I can’t afford more), too much longer.

So I’ve contemplated going to Graduate School for my Master’s. Let me tell you how much getting there sucks.

Now, if you want to go to a traditional University, most graduate programs require you take some fucking test before you even apply. Like the GMAT or the GRE – these are like the SAT of the graduate world.

Let’s think about this a bit… so I just paid all this fucking money to get my Bachelor’s from some school, and now, I have to fucking prove I am worthy to further my education by taking another fucking test? And do you know how much it costs to take the GRE? $140 – where is this money supposed to come from? If you are a little bitch who is supported by your parents still, even though you are in your 20s, then you can come up with that no problem.

But what about we poor folk? Anyway, to prepare myself for this monstrosity, I took a prep-course (which cost about $500). You see, there is math on this bitch of a test. My professional career doesn’t require math (journalism), my master’s requirements don’t require math; so why the fuck do I have to take a math test?

On top of that, pretty much all the schools I am applying to require you to submit your resume (mine has some sweet buttery biscuits of stuff on it), a 15-page critical essay of some sort, and a 2 page personal essay outlining your professional goals. An essay outlining my professional career and goals? Isn’t that what a fucking resume is for? Don’t people get their Master’s in something because they want to further their career and make more money?

Bronson’s Drained Head (10/2007)

“People want to get their Master’s so they can work in an area they are passionate about dude.”

Fuck that, the sole purpose of working is to make money. If you really, really, wanted to do something for the love of it, you wouldn’t be working for someone – you’d be doing it on your own. We work in environments that are tolerable, not out of love.

When one applies for a Master’s Program, that should be enough when a resume is included. If you have your Bachelor’s in English Education, and you apply for a Master’s in English Education, is it really that fucking confusing to the people in admissions as to what this person wants to do in their career?

I understand that some people just aren’t worthy enough to get their Master’s at some prestigious school but shit, what about the schools anyone can get into? I got into the University of Central Florida without taking the SAT, and my high school grades weren’t all that great either (I even failed 9th grade twice but I still got my diploma on time because I worked my ass off those last two years). Anyone can get into college, so why make the admissions process so fucking annoying?

End of rant.