I have gone to your shops every morning for coffee since 2003. I love Dunkin’ Donuts coffee. Unlike that shitty Starbucks garbage, your coffee actually tastes like coffee; not some burnt elephant feces mixed with cream and sugar. Seriously, kudos on not selling out to that new-age, rich white people coffee shit.
On top of ordering a coffee every morning, I usually tag team that with something like a donut or a croissant to fill my stomach with excitement. On most days however, I tend to go for the classic – the bagel with cream cheese. Here’s where the problem lies.
Is it really necessary to put a 6″ thick wall of cream cheese between the bagel halves? I mean seriously, why so much cream cheese? I can scrape off the extra cream cheese from my Monday bagel and use it on all my bagels throughout the week and still have some left over. Seriously, how is the world’s cream cheese supply not in danger from you people?
Too Much Cream of Cheese (10/2007)
“Why don’t you ask for a lighter amount?”
Come on, you think I haven’t tried that in the past 3 or 4 years? If I say, “Can you only put on a little please?”, they put a paper thin layer of it on. You can’t even taste it. And if you say something like, “Can you just put on a normal amount?”, they put that brick between it again. Who the fuck eats that much cream cheese? I go through like 75 napkins with each bagel I eat from you people.
“Why don’t you go somewhere else?”
I won’t go anywhere else because you really have the best coffee in town. There is a Burger King nearby but that place smells when you get too close to it. And their breakfast sucks anyway. I like not weighing over 200 lbs.
In closing, would it be possible for you to send out a little memo out to your managers? It could say something like this:
Team:
Can you please limit the amount of cream cheese you put on bagels from here on out? That stuff isn’t free. There is no reason why a single bagel should have $4.32 worth of cream cheese on it. Especially when the bagel itself costs about $1. There really is no need for it. It’s not like we’re going to pay you more than $6.00 an hour because you used up all the cream cheese. Use your heads people.
Sincerely,
The Dunkin’ Donuts Higher Up Rich White Guy
I hope this helps you. I would love to grab a bagel from Dunkin’ Donuts tomorrow and not have to spend 7 minutes (and 63 napkins) taking care of the cream cheese situation.
Regards,
Mike Bronson
