I bet even the Scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz wouldn’t even want any of this action. Why doesn’t someone throw this bitch a donut? Or a taco? Or an Oreo? And for fuckballs sake, keep her fingers away from her throat! Look what’s happening to her!
The Fruits of Kiera Knightley (3/2009)
I saw Domino in theaters a couple years back. I remember a scene where our beloved Kiera became topless. At the time, I was too shocked to cover my eyes. It was a horrifying sight – like looking in on a dressing room full of 10 year-old boys changing before a baseball game. I think I have bigger boobs than her. So does my mailbox. Why do people want to penetrate her?
Wow, almost no one (aside from 7 people) read my entry on books. So I’m going to go back to basics today with a question.
It must be asked… I bring this question up a lot in my day to day life and it’s the sort of thing I’ve been pondering since I was 10 years-old and I saw Pretty Woman. Even then, as an ignorant child, I wasn’t quite sure who the title of the film was talking about. They couldn’t mean Julia Roberts…. could they?
It was about 2 years later, when my interest in girls was its peak (both mentally and physcially – you get it?), that I realized who they were indeed talking about. Fucking Julia Roberts. I once asked my Mom why Julia Roberts had so many teeth. Did she not remove her baby teeth? What gives?
I am going to have to vote “Not” on this one, my friends. There is something about her… like, when she laughs hard, her mouth opens so wide as if her head literally splits in two, thus causing the top half to float away like a helicopter of doom.
Julia Roberts and the Helicopter of Doom (2/2009)
Just how many fucking teeth does she have? Even when her mouth is shut and serious, like how it is often in Erin Brockovich, her lips look as if they are in a struggle with the teeth, as if they are prisoners desperately pulling for escape. But the lips do a good job keeping them in there… usually.
“But Mike, how can you not like her? She is so beautiful!”
I beg to differ with you, middle-aged, white female America, who long for her magnificent smile. I long not for her. I think her brother Eric has a lot more acting potential than she does, and he sure as hell has a lot less teeth. Perhaps I am just angry because she won an Academy Award over Ellen Burstyn a few years back. I am not sure, but I am sure that it does have a lot to do with it. What do you think? Check an option in this sweet poll…
And on a seperate note, I am quite proud of today’s picture. Usually I will set out to draw something only to give up seconds later when I realize I can’t draw what my imagination creates. Today is quite an exception for I drew exactly what I pictured.
Holy orafice clogger. I saw this movie when I was in 2nd grade and let me tell you, this movie fucked me up. It wasn’t because of how it showed people burying things that came back to life or how it had a creepy little kid running around killing people and biting their necks.
No, something else fucked me up. This one scene I am about to describe messed my sleeping schedule up for weeks when I was young. I remember lying on my back with my eyes open for hours, constantly looking around, making sure this creepy thing wasn’t in my room.
“What are you talking about bro?”
There is a scene where a woman describes her childhood with her sister. It cuts to a flashback and shows said sister – Zelda’s her name – rolling around in a bed with soup pouring out of her mouth. This bitch made Regan from The Exorcist look like Strawberry Shortcake. Hideous fucking creature! The worst part of it all happens near the end of the film. It cuts back to present day and Zelda’s sister is wandering about looking for her son. She opens a door to a bedroom and there is Zelda – all creepy looking in the corner of the room. Then she turns around and charges the camera, screaming, “Never get out of bed again!”
Fucking creepy.
When I watch it now, of course, there is nothing about that scene that is even remotely scary (other than the fact that I learned Zelda was actually played by a dude). Here it is: fast-forward to minute 3. Nothing, right? When I was a kid, that scene messed me up like a tornado in Oklahoma. I literally thought she was going to come out of my television.
So now I dare ask, is Zelda hot or not (and for the sake of argument, let’s forget she is played by a dude)?
Remember when you were a kid and Full House came on, and you were like, “Man, which chick would I bang?” So tell me, do/did you think she is/was hot? You know you wanted the Giblet to rub her toes all over your face, you dirty bastard…
Go ahead and vote today in Pictures of Doom’s first ever election! Fuck the presidential shit, we here care only for the important issues. Like Kimmy Gibler. So get out there and vote! And tell your friends! Send them my way because I want to hit the 40,000 views mark by the end of February. And I am greedy, but we’ll tackle that later.
