Newest “Terminator” Film Has Lamest Title Yet…

Dark Horizons Reports: New Terminator film to be called Terminator: Salvation. How lame is that? Is the next one going to be called Terminator: Reloaded? Terminator: Revolutions? The Terminator Strikes Back? The list could go on and on. This story also continues the report about Warners plan to make a new trilogy. Have we not been hurt enough?

Classic scene from T2: Judgment Day

Edit: The official title is: Terminator Salvation: The Future Begins.

Man, just when you thought it couldn’t get anymore lame.

Terminator 4: Full Throttle

The news simply never stops for the inevitable train wreck that is Terminator 4. First, it was reported that they (some producers or something) had indeed green-lit another Terminator film. Then it was reported that the clowns writing the screenplay were the same idiots who wrote the third one (clearly without watching T2 prior, as demonstrated by the insane continuity errors). Now, reports are sprouting up all over the place like a case of herpes, that shitacular director McG (Charlie’s Angels and Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle) is in negotiations to helm the project.

But who is in talks to act in this thing? None other than Vin Diesel. Vin “I sound like that robot maid from The Jetsons” Diesel. I mean, I guess he has the charisma and presence of an actual robot, so why can’t he play one, but shit. Has he not ruined enough films? Is 4 Fast 4 Furious not enough for him?

Vin Diesel: The Iron-On Giant (10/2007)

How worse can this get? Am I asking too many rhetorical questions? I’d love to see Danny Glover as a Terminator. Better yet, I’d rather never see a Terminator film again. Who I am kidding… you know I’ll be there opening day (with a fresh sack of beers to help ease the pain). It’s time to go watch my special edition T2 laserdisc. Maybe play T2: The Arcade Game for the Sega Genesis after hanging coupons on my refrigerator with my T2 magnets…

Terminator 2 Should Have Been It…

But they just couldn’t leave it alone. It’s no secret how big of a Terminator 2: Judgment Day fan I am. None whatsoever. I reference the movie any opportunity I can. I have T2 magnets on my fridge, a theatrical poster framed in my living room, the 4-disc special edition laserdisc, the ultimate edition DVD, both the T2: Arcade Game and Judgment Day video games for the Sega Genesis, and more crap I can’t really recall right now.

Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines was the equivalent to being raped in the eye-socket. I’d punch that movie in the face if it were possible. With news of Terminator 4 surfing through the internet for the past few months on my mind, I was inspired to draw this picture.

T-101 Vs. T-1000 (Michael Ferraro – 9/2007)