Tidbits of Info (or Tiny Pieces of Informative News Offerings)

I know, I know. 4 entries in one week? Don’t get too excited… just look at the quality of artwork. They are nowhere near as great as last week but that’s a whole other conversation. This particular entry is to clear the air out on a few minor issues, or services, you may not be aware of. So read close and you may learn a thing or two about a thing or two.

1. Dunkin’ Donuts has the best fucking coffee of any fast-food/coffee chain. Shut up – you know it to be true. Starbux coffee tastes like it was burnt beyond repair and McDonald’s tastes too watery for me. But Dunkin’ handles their shit.
2. Let me know if you add me to your blogroll or webpage. I’ve noticed I’ve been getting some hits from strange places, which is awesome, but I’d like to return the favor. Let me know if you add me so I can then add you. I don’t read minds you know. I also have a strange goal to reach 50,000 hits by summer for no other reason than my life will end if I don’t.
3. Click on my pictures to see them in their full glory! What you see in a story of mine is only 75% quality. Colors lack, details fade, etc. I want you to see them in their full glory. What’s the point of looking at them if you’re not really seeing them? Here is one for you to try on:

Click on the Coffee Cup Right Now! (3/2009)

See the difference? Isn’t it spectacular? That is all for now. Going to see The Watchmen this weekend. Hopefully it will stir up some movie conversation because it’s been a while for that.

Am I Fucked?

So this week has been pretty quiet so far. That’s because I had some big ambitions. For instance, one of those ambitions was for me to finally get a Wacom Tablet that I have been craving for so long. Those you confused as to what that is, let’s just say it’s a device that may (or may not) help my pictures from all looking the same. I went and traveled all about my worthless county and came up empty. I still live without a beloved Tablet.

Then, I had this wicked brilliant idea for a new bi-weekly column here at Pictures of Doom. I was inspired by WordPress’s claim that you can now post polls in your entries. I signed up where I need to sign up, attempted to post a poll but when I previewed the entry, no such poll existed. I’ve tried for days but still can’t get it going. How does one do this? Please leave comments and instruct the internet illiterate.

Why Have You Forsaken Me? (2/2009)

My third and final problem lately has been with the uploading of pictures. Back in 2008, when you read one of my entries, you could click on the actual picture and it would then take you to an entirely new page with just the picture on it, so you could see it in all of its glory (at a better resolution too). It was something that was somehow done automatically, by wordpress I assume, but something that no longer done. Am I doing something wrong? Or did WordPress eliminate that?

Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope (and by help, I mean please leave a useful comment that may assist me in my troubles). Thanks for any and all assistance.

Search Term of the Week: Free Photos About Smell Fucking

There are always a slew of odd search phrases that somehow tie to Pictures of Doom and every once in a while I feel the urge to post some of them. Today’s posting actually caused me to laugh out loud, or ‘lol’ for the AIM generation, and I couldn’t resist the urge not to share it with you, my faithful 7 readers.

Some fantastic internet consumer felt the urge to search “free photos about smell fucking.” But what is this so-called “smell fucking” and how does one partake? Smell fucking. I must say, in all my years, I’ve never heard of such a thing. Could it consist of smelling someone’s genitalia until they climax? Can the art of sniff actually cause orgasm? I must say, if anyone ever tried to sniff my boys, I’d probably find my car keys.

And sniffing the genitalia of the opposite sex doesn’t exactly do anything for me either. But who knows. Maybe it can?

Smell My Fuck (4/2008)

More equally disturbing search terms:

• How to know when you smell
• Fuck pictures of brothers and sisters
• Worst anal pictures
• When feces come from your mouth
• How to draw an awesome helicopter (that’s my personal favorite)

What did I eat last night?

There is something wrong with my stomach right now. I can’t even begin to describe it’s pain. No matter what I do to it, whether it’s being fed Pepto or I let out some deuce, it is still in agonizing pain. I had some pizza late last night. Could this be cause of the pain? Or maybe I have an ulcer. That actually wouldn’t surprise me.

My Poor Little Stomach II (4/2008)

“I like your milk mustache very much.”

I am going to let you guys in on a little secret. I hate milk. I hate everything about it. My grandmother used to give me milk when I was in first grade, every single day before school. “It’ll help you grow big,” she used to say. But it didn’t. I am not a very big person. Some may even call me a little guy. I’m like a bald Rick Moranis. Thank you milk, for shaping me into such glorious shape.

So I say fuck this milk substance. I hate that feeling in your mouth after you drink it – milk mouth. I hate that odd white shit that builds up on the side of your mouth after drinking it. I hate when I see people, especially kids, drinking milk. I even hate the way milk smells. And you ever notice that milk only tastes good when it’s really cold, and then, it only actually tastes good during that first sip. The second your mouth disconnects to it, no matter how quickly you return to it, it tastes so much different. What the fuck is that? I haven’t had a glass of milk in over a decade and I plan on keeping it that way.

And how is it that cows eat green grass all the time, and milk comes out so fluidly? These natural milk factories just scare me.

“But dude, do you ever eat cereal?”

I actually haven’t had a bowl of cereal since 2002. I like it but not that much. I’d rather rock an english muffin. Or a bagel.

I drew a picture today to represent a man turning grass into milk. When I was finished drawing, I looked at it and thought, “What the hell is this picture?” This is probably the third worst drawing I have ever done in my life. But I don’t like to hide things from you.

Sorry about this picture… (4/2008)

Birthdays Are Stupid…

27 years ago today, yours truly went on a bogus journey that would forever change his life. It was the beginning of my life actually – the day I would come spiraling out of my mom’s vagina and into this perfect world. I can’t help but think about the journey though.

All beings come blasting out of a shaft with about a million of their brothers and sisters. So every single person on this Earth made it. So I made it. I was so strong back then. If I had to do that same thing today, I doubt I’d make it to the light. Why are we so strong when ejaculated, but become so weak in life? It’s one of life’s finest mysteries. So, to my millions of brothers and sisters who didn’t make it as far as I, I salute you. Because, though you died against the walls of the uterus, today is your birthday too.

My journey to you began right here (4/2008)

Search Term of the Week: Draw it Cock!

I’ve decided that the searches people utilize to find me are just too good to keep to myself. So I am going to pick the best one of each week and dedicate a picture to it. People on the internet sure are odd.

Draw it Cock! (2/2008)

Runners Up:

• bikini whores
• spots on tongue
• best anal ever
• this smells really cool
• how not to smell old

Things on Bathroom Walls Part 3: The Cockephant

The other day I was in a bathroom somewhere (I really don’t remember where as I was intoxicated) but there is something that never left my memory – the sweet sharpie artistry on the wall.

This new picture I saw, artist unknown, was something that was quite familiar to me. I remember one time, when I was in 9th grade, walking around The Alternative Record Store (RIP) in Tampa. I saw the cover of this 7″ record by Pansy Division:

Sorry for the small size – it’s the only one I could find. Anyway, so I am in this bathroom, marveling over something that kind of looks like an elephant, if one was made out of a cock. Again, I ask the question, who brings a sharpie around with them everywhere? Are they celebrities who use them for autographs all the time? Or just a certain set of individuals who love the cock so much, they draw it everywhere, in all shapes, animals, and sizes. The investigation continues…

The Cockephant (10/2007)

Things on Bathroom Walls Part 2: Boobs

Again, it never ceases to amaze me all the weird shit written on the wall in the bathroom. The idiot racist shit or the easy “So and So was here” are easily ignorable. As are the moronic swastikas some people still think are cool enough to draw next to a shitter… wait. Maybe you mostly see those in a bathroom for that simple reason: that’s where they belong.

Regardless, the pictures are always what I look for. And this following drawing stems from years of public bathroom use. If you are a male, and have used a public bathroom at all in your life, you’ve probably seen this (or should I say these):

These Aren’t Eyes (10/2007)

Perhaps their drawing skills are just too amazing but they always look like a pair of eyes. Which is weird, when you’re in there and see these eyes looking at your every move. But they aren’t eyes.

They’re boobs. Guys love them some boobs. They love them so much that they even think about them while dropping a deuce. Nothing like thinking about something so precious when a shit-train is coming out of your ass.

Things on Bathroom Walls Part 1: Dick Guy

In honor of today being such a slow day (and lazy on my part), I’ve decided to try something new…

Like most people, I’ve been in a lot of public bathrooms. I’ve seen a lot of weird things on bathroom walls: pictures, phrases, sayings, poems, etc. What better way to encapsulate the joy they bring me than by recreating them here for all to see?

This first entry is called “Dick Guy.” He was spotted on a toilet-paper dispenser. I don’t much understand him, or why someone would spend time drawing him there (or me doing it here for that matter), but perhaps maybe you can come to a hypothesis. This guy was found in the Classroom 1 Building of the University of Central Florida, in the third floor men’s room.

Dick in the Bathroom (10/2007)