SAN FRANCISCO – Reuters reports that a man who gunned down an ostrich did it because the animal embarrassed him in front of his girlfriend. He and his friends trespassed on an ostrich farm after a night of drinking and what not, when the ostrich kicked the guy (aged 19) and caused his girlfriend to laugh uncontrollably.
Who wouldn’t laugh at a situation like that? You fuck around with animals, don’t be surprised when they kick you in the face and bruise your ribs.
The man, with ego bruised, returned to the scene and shot the poor creature, named Gaylord, to death. The courts gave the kid a relatively weak sentence – a five month stint – behind bars. Hopefully while he is in there, his girlfriend will find new stuff to laugh at. Like when he is ass-raped or something. I have no tolerance for people who just randomly kill animals for no reason, or a reason as idiotic as this. Especially when it happens in the greatest city in the United States.
Long Live Gaylord (10/2007)