Applying to Graduate School can suck it.

Hi, my name is Mike Bronson and I am 26 years-old. I’ve been working non-stop since I was 16. When I was 19, I got an Associate of Science degree in Film Production from some lame/expensive private school. When I was 21, I decided that film production isn’t for me. So I chose to go back to school and get a traditional degree at a real college. I then started to attend Community College, where I received a real Associates Degree when I was 24.

Now, I am about 5 or 6 weeks away from walking away from college with my Bachelor’s Degree. I thought this would be the end of it until I realized that there really isn’t money out there for a free-lance journalist like myself, and my day job isn’t exactly paying all my bills. I don’t think I can handle living this way, in a shitty apartment (because I can’t afford more), too much longer.

So I’ve contemplated going to Graduate School for my Masters. Let me tell you how much getting there sucks.

Now, if you want to go to a traditional University, most graduate programs require you take some fucking test before you even apply. Like the GMAT or the GRE – these are like the SAT of the graduate world.

Let’s think about this a bit… so I just paid all this fucking money to get my Bachelor’s from some school, and now, I have to fucking prove I am worthy to further my education by taking another fucking test? And do you know how much it costs to take the GRE? $140 – where is this money supposed to come from? If you are a little bitch who is supported by your parents still, even though you are in your 20s, then you can come up with that no problem.

But what about we poor folk? Anyway, to prepare myself for this monstrosity, I took a prep-course (which cost about $500). You see, there is math on this bitch of a test. My professional career doesn’t require math (journalism), my master’s requirements don’t require math; so why the fuck do I have to take a math test?

On top of that, pretty much all the schools I am applying to require you to submit your resume (mine has some sweet buttery biscuits of stuff on it), a 15-page critical essay of some sort, and a 2 page personal essay outlining your professional goals. An essay outlining my professional career and goals? Isn’t that what a fucking resume is for? Don’t people get their Master’s in something because they want to further their career and make more money?


Bronson’s Drained Head (10/2007)

“People want to get their Master’s so they can work in an area they are passionate about dude.”

Fuck that, the sole purpose of working is to make money. If you really, really, wanted to do something for the love of it, you wouldn’t be working for someone – you’d be doing it on your own. We work in environments that are tolerable, not out of love.

When one applies for a Masters Program, that should be enough when a resume is included. If you have your Bachelors in English Education, and you apply for a Masters in English Education, is it really that fucking confusing to the people in admissions as to what this person wants to do in their career?

I understand that some people just aren’t worthy enough to get their Master’s at some prestigious school but shit, what about the schools anyone can get into? I got into the University of Central Florida without taking the SAT, and my high school grades weren’t all that great either (I even failed 9th grade twice but I still got my diploma on time because I worked my ass off those last two years). Anyone can get into college, so why make the admissions process so fucking annoying?

End of rant.

Author: bronsonfive

Film, movies, whatever.

7 thoughts on “Applying to Graduate School can suck it.”

  1. First of all, where’s my jump kicking squirrel??

    Second, I TOTALLY HEAR YOU ON HOW BAD GRAD SCHOOL SUCKS ASS. I had to capitalize just to really get my point across.

    I took the GRE right out of college and I think whoever graded it thought a mildly retarded person was trying to beat the odds and get accepted somewhere. I hate tests like that, but only because I suck at them. I think they’re unfair and biased somehow too, but only because I’m bitter.

    The rest of your rant is also true in my case. I love teaching high school; the kids are great, but I’d ideally like to be a PAID writer somehow, someway. So I don’t know what to do about any of this.

    I do know it’s 3:30 and I’m heading to Taco Bell though.

  2. The jump-kicking squirrel is in the previous entry, entitled “Top 15 Songs of Charles Bronson.” Check it out kid.

    And yes, the GRE can suck it. I take it in a couple of weeks.

  3. This was a passionate and beautiful rant; the whole time I was shaking my fist in the air and going “ya, YA!”…I myself sold out like a bitch and spent 4 years out of highschool getting a fucking business degree (’cause anyone who knows me knows how “business like” I fucking am, yeah…)…now I get up in the morning and work in a stupid office and try to climb a slippery corporate ladder so I can move on up to more “somebody’s bitch” heights…ya and somewhere in there I’m trying to be a successful writer who makes loads of cash.

    Okay then.

    PS: what was all that coming out of your heaad? Smoke fumes? I’m worried about you Bronson…

  4. That’s a bit of everything Romi. It’s frustration, desperation, depression, despair, regret, and a lack of financial stability. It’s all of those things and more. It’s everything and nothing.

    Actually, they really are just lines shooting out of my head.

  5. u know what else sucks it – everyone has a bachelors so now everyone is going to get their masters to try to stand apart from those that have their bachelors. Anyone that went to high school in the 1990s lived with the pressure of their parents telling them they need to go to college-because we are supposed to wind up better than our parents – who didnt go to college. so most of our generation now goes to college – to get a bachelors. i dont know about the rest of the world but i am in a worse off financial situation because i went to college. I HAVE TWO DEGREES – and AS and a BS and i am in a decent salary range for someone my age – above average – and i still barely get by. rent sucks it and consumes most of one of my checks and the other is conusmed by my student loan to pay for these lovely degrees and my shitty car. what makes me laugh is that i have a decent job with decent money and i didnt need any of these degrees to get there – i just worked 16 hours a day to get there. and being in college destroyed my marriage – which has now ruined my life. for a brief second i thought about going to get my masters – so i can move further up the ladder as i seemed to hit the ceiling- however i look around me and almost everyone i know is now getting there masters. – i guess i should just start planning for my PHD too before the world catches up.

  6. “And do you know how much it costs to take the GRE? $140 – where is this money supposed to come from?”


    Check into getting a fee waiver for the GRE. I was able to get one quite easily, although it’s been ten years since I took the test.

  7. I’m glad this is a fairly recent post. It gives me the opportunity to strongly advise you AGAINST grad school.

    I’m a semester away from a master’s degree, and I can honestly say that attending grad school has been the biggest regret of my life. I did not enroll in grad school right away — I worked for a few years first — but I will tell you right now, it’s a NIGHTMARE.

    I’m in a “professional communication” program at a fairly prestigious public university in the Southeastern U.S., and … it sucks beyond belief. My skills are no greater than when I arrived; I’ve simply been force-fed a litany of crap about Aristotle and Michel Foucault. Yeah, THAT’ll really rock a resume, won’t it?

    If you’re interested in journalism, put some clips together and get hired in the metro section of a daily newspaper somewhere. A bachelor’s degree will suffice for that. Then be an enterprising and prolific reporter. DO NOT GO TO GRAD SCHOOL. That is all.

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