The detective who showed me death…

I’m in this Sociology of Murder class. It’s pretty awesome, as all we talk about are weird murder cases and what not. My teacher is a captain of detectives or something in my city. The other day, he brought in one of his detectives to talk to us about some of the real life cases he’s worked on in town. I was pretty excited about the whole thing.

Funnily enough, both my teacher and the detective sported a mustache. Two walking cop clichés right there in front of me. Long sleeve dress shirts, plain colored ties, tie clips, and mustaches. This new detective was pretty funny. I imagined him to be that cop who says crazy shit during interrogations. My teacher was the quiet type, the “good cop” to this guy’s “bad cop.”

Anyways, this guy walked up to the front of our classroom and said, “Okay guys, so I am going to show you some pictures. They are not for the weak of stomach or the faint of heart. If you have to leave, that’s totally fine. Your teacher will see you next week.”

I knew exactly what was going down. He was to show us people of dead people. And dead people, he showed us. Hundreds upon hundreds of pictures of dead people. Suicides by hanging, gun shots, stabs, people who jumped off buildings, strangulations, and even a guy who was shoved in a toilet. This guy has seen it all.

The best part is that this guy would joke about each picture while most of my class was horrified. Me and this other kid were the only ones laughing. Is it weird that I think dead people are funny?

Interestingly enough, was how some people killed themselves. 80% of the suicide pictures he showed us, the people got naked first. Like they didn’t want to fuck up their outfits with blood or brain particles. What about the fucking carpet?

Careful with that Rope (10/2007)

Author: bronsonfive

Film, movies, whatever.

11 thoughts on “The detective who showed me death…”

  1. I’m so damn jealous right now. I think the dead people photos might creep me out a bit or make me sad, but I love murder mysteries!

    Do you know how much it costs to take that class? I would totally do that.

  2. love the pic!! and i don’t think it’s wierd that you think dead people are funny. laugh away! they’re dead, they don’t know anyways, and i won’t tell.

    did the cops remind you of the beastie boys in “Sabotage”? great video!

  3. haha that is the best picture. i love it when professors get non-pc. I had this one history teacher that talked about when he fought in ‘nam. He had a thick new york italian accent and i quote “this one guy he uh tried to stab me in the leg. i dont knowa why you’d try to stab a guy in the leg, so I cut his jugular”

  4. I once cleaned up a cell after an inmate slashed his throat. Death isn’t pretty and sometimes it’s downright messy. Glad you got through the class. I am surprised more didn’t make it. I would have thought that slasher movies would have desensitized most people.

  5. Sexualtrek: Thanks a lot good sir!

    Bridget: I think the average UCF course for Florida residents is about $200 or so. I could be lying.

    Joebec: They did indeed remind me of the Sabotage cops. Only their hair wasn’t as bouncy.

    Pessimist: That’s an awesome story. I hope I run into that teacher one day.

    Purefnevyl: You work in a jail? That sounds pretty exciting. And slasher movies aren’t the proper preparation for the real thing. The real deal is so much more vile.

  6. I WOULD never kill myself naked; seriously, that’s my last shot to look hot, and I don’t want those detectives seeing all my junk; “Push-up bras and “stomach-sucking-in undies” all the way bitches! See you in hell!!! ;-)

  7. why did I put “would” in all caps vs. “never”? Seriously, I need to pay better attention to my use of “all caps”…

  8. I am not sure if it matters if you’re naked or not when you kill yourself, because the coroner will make you naked anyway. And then take pictures of your autopsy. Basically, it’s a lose-lose situation.

  9. One of the forensic pathology books I read said that most people who kill themselves do disrobe. I don’t recall the contextualizing comments, but I’ll find them when i go home today.

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