It’s beard season…

Beards have never been a thing I’ve considered fun. I actually hate facial hair (not as much as pubic hair though). With that said though, I was one of those kids who started shaving in 7th grade. It was awful. I was the only kid in my middle school who could grow a straight up mustache. By 9th grade, I had a full goatee. By 11th grade, the beard was there. I never grew it out though, even though I hate shaving more so than the hair on my face. Just something about placing a razor on your face and near your neck that doesn’t feel too good to me.

In June of 2006, I went to Las Vegas to cover the CineVegas Film Festival for Film Threat. For some reason, even though it was hot as Hell both here in Florida and in Vegas, I finally grew out the beard. It took about two weeks to grow out fully. While I was in Vegas, the producer of this movie called “5 Up 2 Down” kept calling me Osama. It was kind of funny to me.

When I got back, I shaved it off. It was hot and gross. Not a big hit with the ladies either, and I can’t say I didn’t understand. But as it got chilly a few months later, I let it flow again. Now, everytime it gets chilly, I let it grow out for a few weeks. This past weekend, it finally got to a somewhat respectable temperature here in Florida. I think at one point last night, the thermostat in my car even said it was 58 degrees outside. Glorious!

So the beard is back. But it’ll be gone soon. Here is what my imagination pretends I look like:


It’s cold outside when you’re lonely (11/2007)

Author: bronsonfive

Film, movies, whatever.

10 thoughts on “It’s beard season…”

  1. Dude I loved your filmthreat article on Raymond. My roommate(a 22 year old guy) used to watch ABC family nonstop. I would always make fun of him and ask him why he watched it cause it didn’t really seem to fit his personality.

    And he said exactly what you wrote about: “i just sort of watch it and not really pay attention to what they are saying”.. it’s that hypnosis thing! I always thought he was using that as a bad excuse, but i guess he was telling the truth.

  2. and here is my problem: I hate shaving but i’ve never gone long enough to develop a full beard. I usually shave when I start to look like a real dirtbag. There is definitely a fine line between dirtbag and beard.. and i haven’t crossed it yet.

  3. You should fully go Walt Whitman on us and grow out your beard so long that there’s birds and things in there that you don’t even know about. You could turn into a protected habitat.

  4. I can’t grow my hair for more than 6 days without going nuts. It just itches way too much. I’d like to get a full beard once in my life though. However, my gf hates beards, and I like sex, so I won’t be growing it out anytime soon.

  5. Abarclay: Yeah, I was going to. Until last night…

    Trek: Yeah, that itchy part sucks it. But once you get passed that part, life is much better. And no matter what they say, ladies always warm up to a beard. As long as you don’t keep it forever.

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