Stupid 1st-Grader

When I was in 1st grade, my teacher, Mrs. Bowman, asked us to write a story about an animal and draw a picture to go with it. My story was about a snake. It was only about 3 sentences long, which is all she asked us to do, but I was a stupid little kid. I spelled “snake” wrong. Every time it was written.

So my story was called, “The Sad Snack”. Yes, I wrote a story that was intended to be about a snake, but instead it became about a lonely snack. After my teacher graded it, she called me to her desk. “You’re probably the dumbest kid in this class and you need to learn how to spell.” Some things never change.


The Snack in the Grass (11/2007)

Author: bronsonfive

Film, movies, whatever.

20 thoughts on “Stupid 1st-Grader”

  1. Butterfly in the Sky
    I can go Twice as high
    Take a look
    it’s in a Book
    (___) Reading Rainbow

    I can go anywhere? be anything? friends to know & and ways to go? on Reading Rainbow?

    id like to see you draw Puff the Magic Dragon.

  2. I remember when I was in 3rd grade I had to get my parents to sign something of mine. I carved my name in a desk and had to write 100 times I won’t do that or whatever, and then get it signed. So I forged my dad’s name. Problem is, his name is Glenn, and I spelled it Glen. I got caught. Plus 3rd grade script isn’t all that convincing.

  3. Joebec: That could very well be the case. I was poor back then (still am today actually) and I never had a snack in my lunch sack.

    Bridge: I love snacks too. Zebra Cakes all the way.

    Trek: Yeah, if you’re going to forge, at least spell it right. But how did your teacher know? Must have been smart. Or the 3rd grade script.

  4. I totally bought Zebra Cakes (the x-mas tree version) when i was in town last time—big J. and I devoured them. Why are you reading my mind?! First the “snowball” comment at the quickie mart across fromt the thai place, now this!

  5. Today I have like 5 little sad snacks in my lunch – a half-eaten bag of Cool Ranch Doritos, a half-eaten apple (I’m Wonka-ing out), and some old yogurt. Now those are some sad snacks.


  6. wow Andrea, those are some sad snacks… do you need me to send you some of my kids cool snacks? they don’t need them anyway.

  7. It’s just wrong that you are both so artistically talented AND so funny. I love the snake/snack story so much. I can remember utter disappointment when I accidentally wrote my name 50 times using a b instead of a p. I love your site & stuck you on my blogroll.

  8. This picture is absolutely beautiful; I love the little nuances in your art, like how there’s medium blue-outlined cloud, and the dark-blue-outlined cloud…

    You’re the best :-)

  9. Bridge: That’s why it’s good you live here again. Zebra cakes and Enzian visits.

    AB: Those are indeed some sad snakes. I mean snacks. Yogurt is no good for anyone but I do love me some delicious apples. They make me smile.

    Joebec: Perhaps we should pool our resources and send her some Fruit Roll-Ups.

    Pama: Thank you so much. You don’t know how excited I get when I come across new fans. Thanks for the blogroll. I’ll get to you in a second.

    Romi: I am glad you notice. Sometimes I feel that the little nuances go un-noticed but you get them every time. And how can I be the best if you already have that position? Just stay away from Hugh Grant.

  10. No YOU’re the best ;-) … or we’re “co-best”, if anything..and don’t you worry, I’ve decided to keep my distance from Hugh Grant and his various dirty, dirty “love diseases”…

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