Only girls in bikinis want to be my Myspace friend.

Firstly, Pictures of Doom raked in about 1,200 visitors last week. That is a new record by many. So thank you kindly for visiting. But on to business.

Yes, I am one of the millions of losers on the planet with a Myspace page. Want to be my friend? Sorry, apparently that privilege is only earned if you are in a bikini, and have a vagina.

“What are you talking about dude?”

I don’t know really but every time I check my Myspace account, I have a bunch of friend requests by bitches in bikinis. I know their accounts aren’t real; they only link you to a porn page of some sort. So why do they not leave me alone? And who accepts these requests? Curious, I clicked on one of their profiles to see who their friends really were. This girl, Naomi, had a delicious profile picture. She was on the beach, shaking her dry, like a dog after a fight with the hose. She had 3 friends, including Myspace’s own Tom. One of her other friends, Tommy G, left her a comment which read, “Damn Boo, I’d luv to be at da beach wit chu.”

bikini.jpg

Lookin’ Good, Boo (1/2008)

I’m sorry to inform you Mr. G, this boo simply doesn’t exist, nor will she ever go to da beach wit chu. Unless you pay to be part of her porn site or your Honda Civic has spinners, then maybe she’ll accept your invitation.

Author: bronsonfive

Film, movies, whatever.

12 thoughts on “Only girls in bikinis want to be my Myspace friend.”

  1. “a bunch of friend requests by bitches in bikinis”…hahaha…I had no idea this phenomenon existed…I wonder if there are all these delicious shirtless male-pricks who try to add chicks on their MySpace friend list..I hope that never happens on Facebook…

    PS: that girl seems to have some delightfully large knockers; they seem to have a bounce to them, and if so, I admire that you were able to convey that through your art ;-)

  2. Not because I’m anti-“in stuff”, but I’ve given up on MySpace. I don’t care about people that much to collect friends and have pointless conversations about what they are up to anymore.

  3. James: Anyone can draw a shark better than the one in Jaws 4.

    Steve: Sorry to ruin your hopes. Myspace is a whore. And I am glad you’ve journeyed here more than once from the big apple.

    Romi: Facebook is cool like that. They don’t fuck around with whores. They are STD free.

    Strex: Glad to have you back. I use it to whore myself out. Which is exactly what it was made for.

  4. My favorite part of this phenomenon is the overwhelming number of guys who genuinely believe these bikini strangers are real and interested in getting to know them.

    You can tell the guys are onboard because each spends a decent amount of time selecting a thoughtful, glittering animated gif celebrating the beauty of these artificial broads.

    Glittery Anigifs: Ghetto Greeting of Choice.

  5. “Damn Boo, I’d luv to be at da beach wit chu.” LMAO…

    I know plenty of looZers who accept the friend requests from these bikini chicks. My ex BF is one of them!

    I have a MySpace page too, never tried Facebook. WHY do we need 2 sites like this?

  6. Romi: Love the quote. I wish I had that on a shirt.

    Danilo: Nice to see you made it this deep into the internet. And glittery anigifs are the way to go, when choosing a suitor on myspace. Bitches love glitter I guess.

    Cheetah: Facebook is better, as not just anyone can see your shit and you NEVER get spammed. Ever.

  7. Ug. At least being a guy you get to look at chick’s in bikinis. If your a girl, you don’t get bikinis, you get ugly ass guys promoting their shit ass band. Look, I’m all for supporting the indie scene and whatnot, but myspace isn’t the way to do it. Steal a van, scrounge up the change under your couch to buy a Marshall, and go tour for a few months living on Snickers bars and whatever else you can get out of vending machines. Yeah. Stop trying to myspace friend me. Or at least if you are, put on a bikini.

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