The Secret to My Rejection…

There are a lot of facets in my life that have brought upon massive amounts of rejection. But I am proud of none of them except for in the area of employment. I’m not sure really what it is I am supposed to tackle in life. I have all of this writing experience but I have proof that it was all a waste of time. I also have a shit load of journalistic experience (again on the film side) but that’s done nothing for me too. All in all, all the skills I have are useless.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, that’s not true. You’ll get something.”

Shut up, liar. You stupid bastard. You don’t know anything now, do you? I have proof here that I am going to rub on your stupid dumb head. Then I’ll sprinkle pepper in your eyes, like that chef from Burgertime, and watch you squeal around on the floor like Mr. Pickle.

I recently applied to be the editor of the calender section of one of this town’s wonderful publications. Surprisingly enough, I got a phone interview with the main editor. I was very excited by this. Almost two months went by before I got this, via e-mail:

The calendar job has been filled, but I will keep your materials on file
just in case. Thanks for your interest.

Okay, that’s fair. Thanks for keeping me posted. So I applied to be this Web Content Editor for some news channel here. The job seemed exciting enough, and based on the massive amounts of experience I have writing for the web, I thought I’d at least get an interview. This came to me two days ago, again via e-mail:

Thank you for your interest in employment with Central Florida XXX/XXXX Networks for the following position: Web Content Editor. We have reviewed your resume/application and have carefully considered your qualifications. After this review, we have decided to pursue other candidates for the position.

Those “X”s aren’t the name of some porn company. I decided to shield the company name just in case they ever pursue me again. But probably not. I miss the days when rejection letters were mailed to you via the postal service. That way I could frame them up. If those who can’t do, teach, I guess I’m going to be teacher of the millennium.


The Love Letter (1/2008)

Author: bronsonfive

Film, movies, whatever.

10 thoughts on “The Secret to My Rejection…”

  1. Ahhh, your own little “Wall of Rejection”. We all got ’em, kid. Just wait until I’m in charge of something again…I’ll hire you in a minute!

  2. Yeah, that’s why I gave up and now answer phones for a living. Only now I’m supposed to stand up and greet every backwards cap wearing drunk driving sonofabitch that walks in through the door. Cheer up, we can all aspire to be worthless office drones! :D

  3. Maybe you should open your own business? Or start a web mag or some shit like that.

    You could always print off the emails and hang them up. Just be sure to fold them so they look like they came in the mail.

  4. Great post. None of my skills or any of the shit I studied in college is good for anything either, so I feel your pain. Once I have no more job, I’m not sure what the hell will happen. But I’m with King Steve – in this tech age, we must be willing to print out our rejections. Loved the one you painted though – that is great.

  5. Here, here! Print those rejections, but print them on like extra glossy paper and stuff, because you want those rejections to be worthy of a frame!

    And by the way, if that whole paragraph about how people who tell you it’s gonna be okay are “stupid dumb-headed lying bastards” wasn’t in there, I prolly would’ve been all like “cheer up butter-cup, things will turn around! :-) ” But now that you kind of off-set that with the threat of pepper spray, I’ve had time to think about it clearly, and fuck it, you’re probably right.

    You should write a book on like “how to get rejected/fired from 100 different jobs” (with each scenario demonstrated in one of your glorious pictures)…I’m pretty sure I would buy that fucking book :-)

  6. Evidentress: I anxiously wait for the day.

    Green: I don’t think I have to aspire to be that… I’ve been that for years.

    Steve: I do have a site. (that’s me being a whore).

    Abarclay: Sadly, all my skills were learned outside of college. College did nothing for me but give me that piece of paper.

    Romi: That paragraph is the most important. Next time someone tells me that, I’ll punch them in the goddamn face.

  7. I wouldn’t sweat it. My girlfriend and I both a project away from having masters and both graduated undergrad with honors and it took us FOREVER to get jobs. Eventually we landed something, and we’re going good.

    If you throw enough shit, eventually something will stick.

  8. aww.. i feel for you bro. if i had a fancy schmancy webpage or news channel you’d be hired in a second. I know that don’t help much. sorry…Fuck!

  9. Steve: I know you rock it… I think you even have a shirt coming your way (I am in the process of shipping them out this week). Thanks for rocking it.

    Trex: I’ve been throwing shit my whole life.

    Joebecca: I am so glad your back. And I appreciate the offer. It does help. It does indeed.

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