I was working at part time retail job the other day when something utterly astounding happened. It was one of those rare times when I actually thought, “I’m going to draw a picture of this douche.” Most other times, I just draw what comes to me at the moment. But this next asshole was planned.
So there I was, standing around with nothing to do, as it was a Thursday night and no one ever comes in those nights. This one kid I work with starts talking to me about sports and I give my diatribe about how I don’t really understand them. He tells me about rugby but not enough to where I can remember it clearly to detail to you.
Hours later, and strictly by coincidence, this younger college student guy walks up to the counter. His shirt says some shit like, “American Rugby” or something. My co-worker gets excited. “Nice shirt, do you play?” The guy looks puzzled. “What are you talking about man?” My co-worker replies, “Your shirt… do you play rugby?”
Here is what he said. “Oh no dude, I got this at American Eagle* or some shit like that.” My poor young co-worker looked defeated, as if someone killed his hamster with a cheese grater.
So this sack of douche walks around town wearing a shirt for a sport he doesn’t give a rat’s cornhole about. What is the point of that? I never understood why people wear shirts for shit they don’t care about. You don’t see me walking around wearing Spider-Man shirt or “President Bush for Life” shirts. I don’t host clothing that means nothing to me.
But that’s what these whacky white fraternity types do though. I see it all the time. Shirts with no relation to their being. I love seeing little kids with shirts like that though. Kids always wear shirts that have no relation to anything really. I always see kids wearing this one shirt that says “Balls!” and has all these different balls on it. Not balls, like testicles, no. Balls like footballs and soccer balls and baseballs. There is also the super-generic child shirt that says, “Sports!” Why do kids shirts always monosyllabic words followed by exclamation points? Life was so simple then.
Fucking Idiot (2/2008)
*I actually can’t remember the name of the store but it did have “American” in it. It’s one of those stores I am too un-hip to shop in.