Lindsay Lohan: Where them shapes?

It’s probably something that has been on the minds of more people than not. When would Ms. Lindsay Lohan show us her treats? This wasn’t a question that has been on my mind though. I don’t find her very appealing, especially lately, with all the DUI and coke business. There is something about her stature that never quite struck a chord with me.

Then I saw these pictures right here, where she attempted to be Marilyn Monroe. It finally became clear to me why she never stuck that chord – she has no shape. Look at her. Sure, her breasts are large enough, but look at the rest of her. She is a stick – no curves, no lady lumps; nothing. A big head, with big boobs, rested on a popsicle stick. Like the tower of a castle made in a kindergarten class out of blocks. I just don’t understand the appeal.


Lohan and the Shapes of Doom (2/2008)

Author: bronsonfive

Film, movies, whatever.

13 thoughts on “Lindsay Lohan: Where them shapes?”

  1. LOL!! love the freckles, and brilliant job on the va-jay-jay! she is no good in my book and the blonde wig really don’t help. she should just go back to what she knows best, drinking.

  2. Plus, her boobs just kinda hang there, like they’re waiting for her to finally kick off so they can be reimplanted in the body of someone with an actual future ahead of them.

  3. ohhhh my god….what do I even say??? You totally pulled a “Leonardo Dicaprio/Jack Dawson” and drew a naked bitch!!! Hahaha…

    I fucking love it :-) …(and you even remembered the stomach freckles!! LOL…)

  4. Lucky: I wonder which other oddly shaped starlet is next…

    Joebecca: My memory is like a bear trap for information. The freckles almost took up the entire Lohan section of my brain.

    Steve S.: Yeah, they seem miserable to be attached to the body of someone so oddly shaped and rehab-obsessed.

    Steve: Doesn’t everybody?

    Romi: I know, I did, huh? Only I am not on a boat with Lohan destined for doom. If I was though, you can bet your ass that she would have been the one in the water at the end.

  5. Bronson, I want to recruit you. I need a superfly fucking dope ass header for my blog. I don’t want to use the stripper header i had before, although, it was fucking brilliant. Can you help???? please let me know.

  6. You know what never hit that chord for me. The freckles. I can not find someone attractive who has an overly abundant amount of freckles. Oh ya, and red hair. Those people just creep me out.

  7. YECCHHH (on the Lohan version of the Marilyn Monroe pics). I grew up sitting on the crapper staring a near-nekkid pic of MM in our bathroom; my mom had a black & white of her hanging in there…the series of pics with that sheer striped scarf. Lohan cannot even compare. She has no hips and she is all freckly. Head’s too big.


  8. Joebecca: Sorry it has taken me so long to respond… I am sending an email your way. Let’s just say I think that idea sounds delicious and I am honored that you thought of me…

    Kerplar: I don’t mind freckles so much actually. I think I used to but not so much anymore.

    Cheetah: Icky indeed. I think my picture of her is better anyway, and way more sexy.

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