Speed Racer and the Epileptic Seizure…

Last Thursday, I attended a midnight screening at an IMAX theater (that’s a theater with a screen bigger than your mom’s ass – it’s huge) of Speed Racer. The film was directed by the Brothers Wachowski (or is it ‘siblings’ now that one of them has become a woman?), the same duo behind the lame Matrix trilogy.

The movie was nothing shy of awful, which was to be expected, but I still went and saw it due to my undying love for midnight movies. Plus I’ve never seen a movie on an IMAX screen before. Fucking thing is huge. It was like I was watching a movie on the side of a building. HUGE. The main problem with said screen was the actual motion picture showing on it. To say Speed Racer‘s visuals are seizure-inducing is being rather kind. Speed Racer never stopped moving. It was like the Wachowskis put a children’s kaleidescope in front of the camera before shooting. Imagine looking through a kaleidescope for 2 hours and change. Actually, imagine looking through a kaleidescope the size of a building for 2 hours… that’s no good for business. In fact, I still see it every time I close my eyes. And it’s 4 days later…

Christmas Trees Aren’t This Flashy (5/2008)

Author: bronsonfive

Film, movies, whatever.

8 thoughts on “Speed Racer and the Epileptic Seizure…”

  1. Go me! I’m first! I didn’t see the movie and don’t plan to. The little doohickey design on his helmet looks like the McDonalds logo to me. Also those anime characters that say things like “Aha, this does not affect us at all, haha!” Bad all around.

  2. I’ve seen several special effects type flix at IMAX theaters. You know, the roller coaster, skydiving, mountain climbing, bob sledding if-you’re-afraid-of-heights-or-get-motion-sickness-you’re-gonna-puke sorta thing. Gag. Thanks for the heads up on Speed Racer. I certainly don’t want seizing or puking to get in the way of me enjoying a large bucket of buttery popcorn.

  3. dude whether the matrix was lame or not it set the benchmark for action then …. so speak of it with little more respect……and yes i agree the the siblings movies sorta sucked

  4. I loved the Matrix series, and you should go die. But don’t actually die, that would be bad. Ive been to an imax theater twice. Once to see a documentary on tigers, and another to see people do base jumping.

  5. Green: It is bad… but the one thing I can give it, is that there is no love story. Yay.

    Evyl: Money isn’t the only thing you would have wasted.

    2 Dogs: I’ve seen a bunch of science flicks on imax and loved it. The difference between those and Hollywood is that those films are actually shot with IMAX in mind. Hollywood films are not… they just blow them up to that size, even though it doesn’t make sense.

    Cracker: Indeed. Part 2 was nothing but a car chase, a lame fight in a park and a rave. Awful.

    Pugs: I should have drawn a pinata too.

    Neonoufal: Benchmark for action? Why, because of the use of bullet-time scheez? Nope. The bullet-time thing is lame, and I am glad it past. They will get no more respect from me.

    Kerplar: Did you see the second one dude? Or the third one? Ugh. I’d rather it have only been one movie.

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