You fucking thief!

The following narrative took place during the last Friday of the June of 2008. It was my last day of full time employment and my second-to-last day of residency in the city of Orlando. I woke up that day with a sense of urgency. There is nothing like the last day of work to put a smile on your face. There was some sadness to it though… as I will miss a few things. Like grabbing nickel beers every Friday at the BBQ joint, when I was really only supposed to be “picking up lunch”, then coming back to the office hammered without anyone really knowing. Plus the chaps I worked with were all good people and even threw me a party at one of their residences the weekend prior, where I drank half a bottle of Johnny Walker Black and won $60 in a game of poker.

When I arrived to work that Friday morning, late as usual, I saw everyone standing outside of our office. As my vessel drew closer, I noticed the window which made up our entire door was gone. It was smashed; shattered into a million pieces by a large chuck of broken cement. “What happened?” I inquired upon arrival. My boss looks at me and says, “We were burgled dude.”

I ran to my office, not really paying attention to the other surrounding damage. The day prior, I took every single Illustrator file for every single Picture of Doom and backed them all up on a DVD-R. It was all of my master works, including some which haven’t seen the light of day. These were to be used in future entries.

I got to my office and looked in with horror. The DVD-R I put all this shit on was still in the computer. I don’t know why I didn’t take it out. Maybe because I knew I had to be in the next day, and that I would grab it then. I don’t know. But my desk was naked on top. Some cocksucking, uncle-fucking, redneck, drug addict, pawn shop loving, fuck face grabbed my sweet year old iMac off my desk. This fucking thief (which shall be his name forever onward) took all of the Macs out of our office and left all the shitty PCs.

But fuck that shit – this motherfucker took my Pictures of Doom. Now my dreams of printing them on various items (coffee mugs, mousepads, etc…) for your enjoyment are over. Gone, like the window of the door. In an instant.

So that explains why I’ve been absent for the last couple of weeks (not to mention that I moved – which will provide many a story soon). This thief has yet to be found. Even if he was though, I doubt I’d see my poor disc again. She is gone, like the wind. And I will miss her and all her drawings I provided her. Fucking bastards.

But in light of the recent darkness, I am now back. Having 68 readers a week really hurts my feelings. So tell your friends.

This poor, shattered, window (7/2008)

Again, this was drawn without a mouse. So pardon the sweetness.

Author: bronsonfive

Film, movies, whatever.

7 thoughts on “You fucking thief!”

  1. Duuuude … that’s tragic.

    As Orlando send-offs go, I sure preferred that brunch at the Cheesecake Factory to what YOU got.

  2. That is horrifying! I didn’t know the extent of everything that was lost, that sucks dude. BUT, like a true artist, you will rise from the ashes with even better and better pictures (I wanna see a pic of you rising from the ashes, all naked and semi covered with ash ;-) )

  3. Steve: Yes. My send off was definitely not like yours, but aside from the theft, the boys did send me off with a few pitchers of beer and some shabby games of pool. It was alright.

    Evyl: Me too.

    Hierophant: That’s exactly what I’ll. Great suggestion.

    Simonne: Thanks for the compliments… But yes, it is too horrendous for words. I am glad you stopped by, and hope you continue to do so.

    Romi: Hmm. Do you want to see that picture of me illustrated or real?

  4. dude, you only get 68 readers a week? that sucks, but is great compared to my 13 readers a week.

    sorry about your comp but I know you’ll come up with way more great shit though!!

    And I agree with my BFF Romi, I would also love to meet the man behind the paint.. Pic would be fab!!

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