Two ladies were down the aisle from me at the store the other day. They were in conversation. I was looking for some sort of tomato sauce. I wish I was listening to them, especially after one of them said, “He looks like he’d be a bad father.”
Somewhat intrigued, somewhat puzzled, I looked over to get a good look-see at the ladies providing such brilliant commentary. I needed to know who would say something like that about someone, especially in the cultureless wonderland. My brief look didn’t provide me with the same amount of relief as the comment. They were two somewhat older ladies, plain in clothing choice, and unappealing to the eyes.
I continued looking for the sauce of my craving when it hit me. I had no idea who they were talking about. Who looks like they would be a bad father? I stopped looking for sauce and jolted down the aisle, passed the two ladies. When I reached the end of the aisle, I looked to the left and to the right. No one. Not a soul.
Then I contemplated something somewhat scary. Were they talking about me? Hmm. Wait… I just looked up and Friends is on. Maybe I would be a bad father.
I then continued around store. I didn’t believe that they were talking about me, so I wondered what kind of person looks like they would be a bad father. I looked out for this guy but I never ended up finding him.
Fatherhood with Tentacles (9/2008)