I didn’t vote (so suck my balls).

I found the following entry in the pile of various drafts I’ve written up. I wrote it a few months ago, on election day, and even drew a picture. I have no idea why I didn’t hit the “publish” button but perhaps it is because none of this matters at all. Why yes, that is indeed the answer.

That’s right. Today is the big day that we fine Americans exercise our right to vote our country’s next leader. If South Park has taught me anything, it’s that we always have a choice between a Giant Douche and a Turd Sandwich (see the election of 2004 between Douche Bush and Turd Kerry). I lived in Florida during the 2000 election, the first election I was old enough to vote in, and we all saw what happened there. What a waste. 2004 was no better.

So this year, I decided to say, “fuck it.” I’m tired of hearing people babble on and on and politics. I used to be a huge fan of it too. I used to love to tell people how much I loved abortion and gay marriage. Now it all seems a waste though. Americans seem to love to be run by rich old white guys. Even though now we have a fine black man (gObama) attempting, I decided to sit the bench on this election. I can’t find a point in it. The past 8 years have been hard on a brother.

So that’s it. In hindsight, I guess I am glad Obama took it. But then again, my vote wouldn’t have mattered anyway. I live in a Republican county in a state that has fucked up the electoral process once or twice in past. My one vote wouldn’t have swerved the thousands on the opposite side. “But dude, that isn’t why you vote. You vote to exercise your freedoms! Think of people who live in countries where such luxuries don’t exist.” Fuck them, and fuck you too.

I have noticed a great deal of patriotism sprout up since Obama took office too. Kind of like those few months after 9/11 where everyone and their fucking dog had an American flag somewhere on their person. They never gave a shit before, but they give a shit now? And people paint Obama has this great bringer of change – but the guy just took office. He just moved in. Now let’s see him do his job for a while before we call him a Saint and Bringer of all Things Great. Let us not label him for things he has yet to do, but instead for things he does as they happen.


Capitalize on this Good Fortune (11/2008 and/or 2/2009)

My grandfather once said, “Show me a politician and I’ll show you a douche waffle.” He meant that no matter what was promised, what they said, or what happens, something is sure to be awry. Being a teacher, I am glad he won. But now that it’s happened, let us shut the fuck up and stand back. Bring back your newfound patriotism in a year or two… when said “change” will come.

Author: bronsonfive

Film, movies, whatever.

5 thoughts on “I didn’t vote (so suck my balls).”

  1. The first sane thing I’ve read about Obama in a while. He’s a man that was elected to a high office, the end. Maybe he’ll do a good job, maybe he won’t. He is quite a good speaker, which Bush never was, and he seems to genuinely have some half-decent ideas. But the fact is that he, like most politicians today, want to create a nanny state and that is frightening to me. Moreso because everyone seems to have lost their mind and are embracing the idea of Big Brother as long as this all powerful entity parrots their view and ideals. So Liberals don’t care as long as it’s a enviromentally friendly egalitarian facist state, and Conservatives don’t care as long as it’s a traditional patriotic religious facist state.

    It’s as if people have gone totally batshit blind and can’t see beyond their beliefs at all anymore. Very scary.

  2. I’m kind of with you on this. I voted andI voted for Obama but I wasn’t moved by the victory or anything like that. All he’s done up to this point is talk…that’s it. He’s got A LOT of work to do. Like you said, I’ll check back in two years and see if my vote was worth a damn.

  3. I live in Canada, I don’t care really. All I hope is that your economy gets back on track, so us guys up north don’t go down the shitter too.

  4. lmao, a douche waffle…I think if people THINK that change will happen, it MIGHT. It’s a good thing people are excited about Obama, so dont inform them he hasn’t done anything yet or else things won’t change!! It’s just a mind-set, obviously he hasn’t done anything yet, but it’s a start. ;)Though, it will be funny when people get mad because they thought once he took office they wouldnt have to pay for gas, or their mortgage anymore!(somebody was interviewed and actually thought they wouldn’t have to…)

  5. I love how you said “The last eight years have been hard on a brother.” LOL

    You know, I didn’t vote this year either, but because I had a newborn and a four year old and I was in the process of moving to another state…

    So I decided to sit out this go around.. too much going on and I’m a pretty liberal independant and they don’t like us at the polls… LOL

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