Hot or Not: Zelda from Pet Semetary

Holy orafice clogger. I saw this movie when I was in 2nd grade and let me tell you, this movie fucked me up. It wasn’t because of how it showed people burying things that came back to life or how it had a creepy little kid running around killing people and biting their necks.

No, something else fucked me up. This one scene I am about to describe messed my sleeping schedule up for weeks when I was young. I remember lying on my back with my eyes open for hours, constantly looking around, making sure this creepy thing wasn’t in my room.

“What are you talking about bro?”

There is a scene where a woman describes her childhood with her sister. It cuts to a flashback and shows said sister – Zelda’s her name – rolling around in a bed with soup pouring out of her mouth. This bitch made Regan from The Exorcist look like Strawberry Shortcake. Hideous fucking creature! The worst part of it all happens near the end of the film. It cuts back to present day and Zelda’s sister is wandering about looking for her son. She opens a door to a bedroom and there is Zelda – all creepy looking in the corner of the room. Then she turns around and charges the camera, screaming, “Never get out of bed again!”

Fucking creepy.

When I watch it now, of course, there is nothing about that scene that is even remotely scary (other than the fact that I learned Zelda was actually played by a dude). Here it is: fast-forward to minute 3. Nothing, right? When I was a kid, that scene messed me up like a tornado in Oklahoma. I literally thought she was going to come out of my television.

So now I dare ask, is Zelda hot or not (and for the sake of argument, let’s forget she is played by a dude)?


Put it to my lips… (2/2009)

Author: bronsonfive

Film, movies, whatever.

7 thoughts on “Hot or Not: Zelda from Pet Semetary”

  1. lmao, I can’t believe you did a hot or not for her…I thought the choices were gonna be, “eat my own vomit” or “eat someone else’s vomit out of a bowl…before i got in bed with that” That’s how much that crazy bitch scares me.

  2. Ive never seen it before because I am lame. Also I didn’t even watch that clip because I am lame. I seriously just hate horror movies because I’m a big wuss. So I try to not watch anything that could scare me.

  3. I’m totally lame and haven’t seen the movie (which is how I voted), but that would be ugly for a chick or a dude…and she/he didn’t even have real lips, I hate it when women are thin-lipped and lip gloss is totally wasted on them…sad.

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