April Fool’s Day Part II

Last year, I recalled a rather touching conversation I had with an ex-girlfriend about the amazing power of the Day of Fools. This year, I decided to keep that up. The following phone conversation took place.

Ring. Ring.

Sally: Hello?
Mike: Hey Sally. It’s Mike.
Sally: Mike who?
Mike: Come on, you really have to ask that?
Sally: Good Christ, what the fuck do you want?
Mike: I was just calling to check on you; see how you were doing. How goes it? How has life been treating you since we last spoke?
Sally: Are you fucking kidding me? I haven’t heard from you in 5 years. You just disappeared. Where did you go?
Mike: My wife found out about our relationship and she threatened to walk out on me unless I ended it. So I ended it.
Sally:(I could hear her thinking)
Mike: Are you there?
Sally: …You were married?
Mike: Yeah. Funny, huh?
Sally: We went out for over a year, and you never told me? You told me you loved me.
Mike: I know, hilarious, right?
Sally: What the fuck are you telling me this for?
Mike: It’s part of the 12-step program… you know, calling people, and apologizing for shit.
Sally: You’re an alcoholic too?
Mike: Oh yeah, that’s why we got a divorce. I can’t see my kids without supervision. I was an angry drunk.
Sally: You have fucking kids too? Jesus fuck, what the hell else do you want from me?
Mike: I was just calling to ask for your forgiveness. To let you know I am sorry.
Sally: I wondered what happened to you for 5 years, and this is what I learn? I hope you drop fucking dead asshole…
Mike: Okay, wait… calm down, I have something else to say!”
Sally: No, no, no… you’re going to listen to me asshole. If I ever see you again, I will fucking kill you, you got that?
Mike: But wait, don’t you know what today is?
Sally: No, and I don’t care. This conversation is over. I will fucking skin you alive if I see you again, you got that? Don’t ever call me ever a-fucking-gain.
Mike: But wait… April Fo….


Ghost of Fool’s Past (3/2009)

And before I could finish, she hung up. I guess she never got the joke.

Author: bronsonfive

Film, movies, whatever.

5 thoughts on “April Fool’s Day Part II”

  1. wow. LOL. So many questions…You left a girl with no explantation i take it? you dated a girl named Sally? Your little ghosty guys always look like they are hating on something, is this little ghost you? And my biggest question, does this girl even KNOW who you are? The second you said married-I’d of laughed, she let you get all the way to kids!!

  2. i went the entire april fools day without doing a damn thing! that was practically a royal flush! well, id expect you to have so much fun on the day of fools, happy birthday, mike!

  3. Awesome. Too bad you didnt get to tell her. I also went the day without anyone doing anything to me, nor me doing anything to anyone. I’m not really a big fan of this day.

  4. I think that joke was too much–unethical. But I’m a hypocrite–because I also think it’s funny as hell!

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