28 Years Later…

28 years ago today, yours truly went on a bogus journey that would forever change his life. It was the beginning of my life actually – the day I would come spiraling out of my mom’s vagina and into this perfect world…

Oh wait a second. I am having that one French phrase everyone says (and these are probably the same people who adapted the infamous ‘Freedom Fries’ routine). This sounds much like how I started last year’s birthday post. Have I no variety? Surely I owe you better than that.

As I write this, my birthday hasn’t hit yet. But it’s coming. And by the time you read this, it’ll be here. I try to think about how much my life has changed since last year. I moved to a new town, got a new job, work a night job too, teach the kids of America, and even began a relationship.

I also got cut from my job and my future is now 100% unknown. Where am I to go and what am I to do? There are more education cuts in Florida than one cares to think about. It’s about 78% probable that I will not be able to get another teaching job for next year. That puts a damper on me starting Graduate School this summer, like I intended. I have to put that on hold because now that I have no job, I can’t very well spend money on schooling now can I. That impacts my future even more.

I think back to that time when I was shooting through the uterus; my life was very much ahead of me. There was no defeat yet, or complications, or even struggle. The other brothers and sisters trying to make it to the egg gave me no such struggle. I know this because I don’t like competition or doing things that are hard. So the other millions of children swimming down the pike must have been completely retarded. Or maybe they let me win?


“You have to go now…” (4/2009)

You know you want to make that the background of your desktop. Go on, I’ll wait. Click on the picture. Now right click. Pick the correct option. There, now, doesn’t your monitor look so pretty now? Tell me that isn’t the best looking sperm you’ve ever seen.

Anywho, that’s it I guess. Today is my birthday. There are midnight screenings of Fast and Furious all about this evening. What better birthday present can one have than the face of Paul Walker and his masterful thespian skills matched with what is sure to be a brilliant screenplay tackling themes as deep as vengeance and as whole as love?

Sarcasm means nothing to me.

Author: bronsonfive

Film, movies, whatever.

8 thoughts on “28 Years Later…”

  1. That is, without a doubt, the best looking sperm I have ever seen!

    Sarcasm means everything to me.

    Happy Birthday! I hope you find a new movie for your entertainment pleasure! Might I suggest Pineapple Express?

  2. I moved to a new town, got a new job, work a night job too, teach the kids of America, and even began a relationship.

    ain’t that splenda. you call it a “relationship.”

  3. i think that they let you win because they could see into the future and knew to stay the hell in there. Why would anyone willingly come into this stupid world

  4. Your tags get more and more irrelevant with each new post. You have a charm about you that could get a job(maybe not one you want atm) but a job no less. Life is sheer randomness, no god guiding us, no reason as to why, we just are. Keep up the good sperm drawings! You have done extremely well compared to the other sperms that slip and infect the world. On a scale of Inbred-Normal-Exceptional-Great-Too good for anyone, so no one likes this person anyway…, I’d say you’re a great person.

  5. hahahaha….and why am I so glad that you’re the sperm that survived?

    A: because of your ability to draw sperm with convincing facial expressions

    B: because of that last paragraph you wrote on F & F (it’s not worthy of me spelling it out, even though it took more characters to explain that in the parentheses…spite means nothing to me ;-) )


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