Today’s picture is a bit naughty… so lift with caution. You might also want to note that this is easily one of the best things I’ve ever drawn. Enjoy!
I know nothing of docorific shit. So, as you read this, please feel free not to correct me. Sometimes my mind like things to be mysterious. Such is an incident of today.
I saw a billboard today on the side of the road. It said something like, “Fresh Vasectomy – No Needles, No Cutting – Released the Same Day!” Wait a second… so I get what a vasectomy is. Guys get these to prevent themselves from having kids. But the only way I know it to be done is by way of a scalpel-to-sac procedure. Sounds painful, I guess, but this is one procedure that should be done a lot more often. I’ve met a lot of kids whose fathers either treat them like shit or disappear from their lives. I’ve also met a lot of kids with mothers who simply shouldn’t have been allowed to have kids.
As Keanu Reeves once said in Ron Howard’s immortal 1988 classic Parenthood, “You know, Mrs. Buckman, you need a license to buy a dog, or drive a car. Hell, you need a license to catch a fish! But they’ll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father.”
That movie seriously rocks my balls. That one line is way more philosophical than anything Keanu had to say in those ridiculously awful Matrix sequels or that newfangled Day the Earth Stood Still remake.
Back to the subject at hand… so I know what cutting does as far as a vastectomy is concerned, but I am not even going to pretend to actually know what a needle can do (although I can certainly imagine some wonderful things).
So my question is, if you aren’t cutting or shooting some sperm killers in there with a needle, how the fuck do you do it? I could only picture one alternative.
Stop making baby seed you motherfucker! (4/2009)
The doctor would have to be trained to speak a language only the testicles could agree with. He has to speak to them, maybe even shout at them, to get them to stop producing baby formula. They should then call it the “Audible Vasectomy” and deliver that shit for free to people in jails. Or even to children in high school who are fucking way early without the common sense needed to use protection.
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