Pictures of Doom is Dead…

UPDATE: My picture days are over. Come to my new home by clicking right here. See you later.  

“Wait, what?”

Yes, the headline of this entry is true. City Pictures, aka Pictures of Doom, is about to die. By the time you finish reading this entry, you will realize there will be no more words ever to be posted here.

We had a good run. It’s been over 4 years since I started this. I’ve drawn hundreds of pictures, made fun of countless people, gained a ton of readers during the height of the site, and then lost them all during long hiatuses (is that even a word?) from yours truly.

“Why are you ending it dude?”

Simple, really. I really don’t want to be that guy who writes a few stories a month and then disappears. That is just crazy train. It gets peoples’ hopes up before smashing them in the face with the reality that nothing is coming for months. I often sit around and try to think of new stuff to write. Only I come up short. There just isn’t anything going on in my world that I feel hasn’t been tackled yet.

I still hate when dudes don’t shave their necks, loathe the Spiderman trilogy, laugh at people who smell, and dislike most movies I see. I barely write anymore because I know it’s something you’ve probably heard me say before. So why say it again.

I have made a lot of friends with a lot of bloggers here. I will still read their blogs (what else is there to read?) and show my support. But, as for this, I can’t muster up the originality to create new stuff. I haven’t been happy with the past few months worth of pictures I have drawn. Perhaps I need to learn Illustrator a little better? I actually feel that my pictures have downgraded in quality since this thing started and when I started it, it was for the purpose of improving my craft. There is a goal I didn’t really succeed in. I also feel my writing lately has just been done for the sake of getting it done. It hasn’t been that great.

I have been writing online for various people/places for a long time. I am tapped out of words I think. The archives will live on though. So feel free to search around and read things written long ago, during the Pictures of Doom prime (as I call it).

So I guess that is it. It was great to provide the 17 of you who read this frequently a bit of entertainment in your day. Your emails and comments have made me smile more than you will ever know. But it is time for me to move on to something else. Even if I have no idea yet what that will be.

I shall miss you all. Farewell, until next time.

-MF

Stuff Your Kids Say: The Dinosaur Kid

The lady (her name is Kimberly) works at a private school for little (rich) kids. Often times, she comes home from work and shares with me these stories of hilarity. Mostly involving the weird and silly things kids say. Kids of the younger persuasion are the best types to hold a conversation. They really do say the craziest things. The other day, she told me of such a conversation. Continue reading “Stuff Your Kids Say: The Dinosaur Kid”

Pictures of Doom turns 3!

It was early September of 2007 when City Pictures began with a simple premise: let’s show the world how amazing my skills of illustration are. That was 3 years ago. How time flies.

Since then, we’ve gone through countless header designs, a barrage of ramblings about all things awful and hilarious, touching stories of sadness, and simple tales of idiocy. It’s been a long journey.

Those first 3 months out, City Pictures gathered about 3,000 – 4,000 hits a month. It was way more than I ever though possible. Nowadays, I’m lucky if I even get 1,000 hits a month. This site was once on WordPress’ list of “Fastest Growing Blogs” (September, 2007). What happened? My art and ramblings tired people out I guess. They are sick of it. But what is a poor boy to do? Make some changes, that’s what.

“But dude, what kinds of things are you going to change?”

Actually, as far as content goes, absolutely nothing. My ramblings will still ramble. My art will still rival Picasso.

“So what are you talking about?”

The New Tablet (9/10)

Firstly, the web address is now more permanent: citypictures.wordpress.com is now http://picturesofdoom.com. That sounds so much more official, right?

Secondly, I’ve finally gone and done something I’ve talked about for years… I’ve recently purchased a Wacom Tablet.

“What the Hell is that, bro?”

It’s a tool that allows me to draw on my computer with an actually pencil-like tool. My drawings are about to advance a stage in quality (probably not really). So be on the lookout for that.

Thirdly, I’ve made some changes in theme. Pictures of Doom has had the same theme for the past 3 years. It was about time to change it. I may even change the header again too… Who knows?

Fourthly, regarding you. Why isn’t this link in your favorites list yet? I average about 30-40 hits a day. I know I have more friends than that. My mom and dad read this more often than you. So get on it! Add this to your daily grind. You’re helping a poor man build his ego. How hard is it to comply?

Fifthly, I love when you guys comment here. You notice I always comment back? So comment. I like comments as much as I like attention – a lot.

Sixthly, if you haven’t noticed by now, I started yet another blog. It’s called “Stuff College Kids Wear” and it’s dedicated to the awful fashions of today’s college youth. Go there and enjoy. It could use your help. But don’t think that means you don’t have to read this anymore. Because that isn’t true at all.

Seventhly, I’ve recently updated my blogroll and (unfortunately) had to eliminate a lot of blogs that were abandoned. I’d love to add more to it to replace those fallen comrades. Let me know. If you’re worthy, I’ll add it. Perhaps you can add me too.

Eighthly, Pictures of Doom hit a massive landmark the other day. For the past 3 years, our biggest day earned us 256 unique visits (in a single day). That’s been our biggest day since September 27th, 2007. Since that day, we’ve never even come close to breaking that record. Until now. For some reason or another, on September 1st, 2010, Pictures of Doom got 758 unique hits! That’s over 700 hits in one single day! That’s crazy! It seems that posting my entry on how to teach sexual education the proper way to kids (AKA The 3 Ps) on Reddit really benefitted my life. Go Reddit!

That’s it I guess. Any questions? Concerns? Suggestions? Hit me up. It’s only going to get worse from here.

Thank you for all your visits. They really are special to me.

“I had an adrenaline rush… you can google it.”

That’s right kids… in order to appease a newer fan base, I had to use a quote from Twilight – the biggest piece of shit book/film franchise this side of Spider-Man. Oh wait, did I just lose those same fans because I made fun of it? Whatever. The quote is so perfect as to what’s about to happen.

It’s been a crazy year. I don’t even know where to begin… but don’t worry. I’ll share it all with you. I’ve told you practically everything so far, why would I stop now? This is all coming back. I promise you.

“Why is it coming back all of the sudden? You left us in the rain. You keep putting in it and pulling it out without letting me finish!”

I know, I know. I keep saying I’ll post more, then follow it up with nothing. But, alas dear readers, it has happened. The moment we’ve all been waiting for. I finally got brand new silverbox, complete with Illustrator. My shitty pictures city pictures/pictures of doom shall return. So will the stories. This year has been one of the craziest years of my life. For every bit of misery came a sprinkle of happiness.

And I’ll be sure to share it all with you. So don’t worry.

Let’s Get Back to Work (4/2010)

“Ain’t No Grave Can Hold My Body Down”

A long, long time ago, I drew a picture for Romi for reasons I don’t really remember anymore. I just found it in the bowels of my computer. I think it stemmed from a conversation about beloved (or mostly loathed) pubic hair. Perhaps it all started from this conversation I had about a very short-lived relationship I had.

I dated a girl one time in 2002. We saw 8 Mile together when it came out. I think that’s the only thing I really remember about her, as far as things we actually did. We never slept together. She was never one of the illustrious digits of mine. Do you want to know why? Sure… we all do.

One time, we were making out, rolling around in bed. So I guided my hand to her special area. I noticed something quite fowl. Her, uh, lawn was a bit too out of control. This is the kind of crazy yard that neighbors would complain to the home owner’s association about. Also, the shape of the thing. It was everywhere; her lawn was definitely outside the quadrants of a normal lawn. This thing could trap a fucking raccoon.

As disgusted as I was at the time, I figured it’d be rude of my fingers to enter a lawn but not go inside for tea. They were hesitant but they finally made it. Only there was someone else in there blocking the entrance.

The girl said, “Um… I’m sorry, I am on my period.”

Yes, you read that all right. I take my hand to the south, peruse around the merchandise, enter the front door… and THEN she decides it’s a good time to inform me of said problem.

I took my hand out, washed them both with fire, then went to sleep. I broke up with her the next day. It wasn’t so much about the tomato soup filter I bumped into without any official warning; instead it was the lack of weed trimmings. You can get lawn maintenance gear anywhere for the cheap. I think it was then that I decided that any kind of untrimmed lawn just wouldn’t be part of my universe.

There is just nothing good about pubic hair… on either side of the fence.

Good news? No one, aside from Romi, has ever laid eyes on it. More good news? It’s done with glorious Illustrator.

Bad news? Cover your eyes…

What’s Your Sign, Girl? (2007)

“Goodbye My Sweet”

You know that sad giraffe you often see in my pictures?

Back in 2002, right around the time I wrote Rabbit and Future (which was then ruined by a certain Eminem movie), I wrote another story. It was called Goodbye My Sweet and it told the tale of a man named Bill, his wife Wendy, and his sad Giraffe. This is where he came from.

I’m not going to go into too much detail here about what the plot entails because, unlike Rabbit and Future, I have decided to remake this story.

“What does that mean to me?”

I am not sure yet but I have already started it up. You see, the story is simply too big for me to post in a blog entry here for you to see. So, since I will be unemployed soon and all, I’ve decided to embark on drawing it up again – modernizing it City Pictures of Doom style – for all of you to see. Want to see the original cover?

coverGoodbye My Sweet 2002 (2/2002)

Only I am going to go big this time. Last summer I mentioned that I would be doing some original paints for you to purchase at ass cheap prices. But that never actually happened, what with all the moving I did and so forth. That isn’t happening this time.

I already started beefing up the story (meaning I am re-drawing it from scratch). Also, in 2002, I noticed that my story lacked a little bit. The only way to fix that is to add a few new pages. What’s next?

The only thing I can do, aside from posting it here, is to get it printed.

“Wait… what?”

Yes, I am going to get it printed. Create a book with a nice layout and get a nice print job going for it. It will be the first ever City Pictures book.

“How can I get one?”

Goodbye My Sweet will be ready to ship in July. This new version will be in complete color, with redrawn characters, backgrounds, and more story. In the next month or two, I will post some pictures of the final product, a page sample, as well as pricing information and where you can get it. It’s going to be a super limited edition first (and probably only) pressing so you probably have to act fast. Again, those details will come.