Pictures of Doom is Dead…

UPDATE: My picture days are over. Come to my new home by clicking right here. See you later.  

“Wait, what?”

Yes, the headline of this entry is true. City Pictures, aka Pictures of Doom, is about to die. By the time you finish reading this entry, you will realize there will be no more words ever to be posted here.

We had a good run. It’s been over 4 years since I started this. I’ve drawn hundreds of pictures, made fun of countless people, gained a ton of readers during the height of the site, and then lost them all during long hiatuses (is that even a word?) from yours truly.

“Why are you ending it dude?”

Simple, really. I really don’t want to be that guy who writes a few stories a month and then disappears. That is just crazy train. It gets peoples’ hopes up before smashing them in the face with the reality that nothing is coming for months. I often sit around and try to think of new stuff to write. Only I come up short. There just isn’t anything going on in my world that I feel hasn’t been tackled yet.

I still hate when dudes don’t shave their necks, loathe the Spiderman trilogy, laugh at people who smell, and dislike most movies I see. I barely write anymore because I know it’s something you’ve probably heard me say before. So why say it again.

I have made a lot of friends with a lot of bloggers here. I will still read their blogs (what else is there to read?) and show my support. But, as for this, I can’t muster up the originality to create new stuff. I haven’t been happy with the past few months worth of pictures I have drawn. Perhaps I need to learn Illustrator a little better? I actually feel that my pictures have downgraded in quality since this thing started and when I started it, it was for the purpose of improving my craft. There is a goal I didn’t really succeed in. I also feel my writing lately has just been done for the sake of getting it done. It hasn’t been that great.

I have been writing online for various people/places for a long time. I am tapped out of words I think. The archives will live on though. So feel free to search around and read things written long ago, during the Pictures of Doom prime (as I call it).

So I guess that is it. It was great to provide the 17 of you who read this frequently a bit of entertainment in your day. Your emails and comments have made me smile more than you will ever know. But it is time for me to move on to something else. Even if I have no idea yet what that will be.

I shall miss you all. Farewell, until next time.

-MF

Did no one watch the Watchmen?

Everyone raved last summer about an angry little superhero movie called The Dark Knight. What happens, however, when you make a more pissed off superhero movie and mix it with political/social commentary? You get Watchmen… a movie based on a fantastic graphic novel by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons. Say what you say about comics but this book pretty much invented the graphic novel genre and had a lot more to say than any issue of Spider-Man (or the trilogy of films for that matter).

Perhaps it was too angry though. The film came out this past March and, while some people saw it, it’s box office receipts weren’t too fantastical. Perhaps people didn’t get it? I mean, it takes place in an alternate 1985 (not like the one in Back in to the Future II) where Nixon is still president. The Cold War is in the air and superheroes, though once employees of the government, have been outlawed (sounds like The Incredibles but obviously that used this as inspiration).

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Somebody Killed The Comedian (4/2009)

I think I can say with a certain amount of authority that children see rated R movies on a daily basis. I teach 14 year-old kids and they come in every day wanting to talk to me about whichever horror movie they saw that weekend. They wanted to talk to me about Watchmen too, only the few (and I mean few) students who saw it absolutely hated it.

I guess I understand why. It has no clear villain for a while. It’s essentially a mystery – we don’t know who they are fighting or why. Nor is there the typical origin story. There is no crime-fighting to be found, outside a one single short episode, and there is a blue man running around without his pants on half the time.

Perhaps it was to make some of them feel a bit stupid, or perhaps I was trying to educate them, but I decided to talk a little bit about the politics of film. What was the significance of the Nixon era, Nuclear War, Russia, etc. None of them had a fucking clue.

I was at a bar shortly after, talking about the film with some friends, who are much older than my students I might add. Now, I am not that old. I didn’t live through JFK and shit. But I do know a thing or two about American history. This novel/movie isn’t that complex to your average everyday paper reader but it seems a lot what was going on was lost to a good portion of the movie public. I guess that’s why people stayed away from it. It certainly had nothing to do with length (remember how long Dark Knight was?).

The purpose of this post escapes me for the time being. I guess I just wanted to write something about Watchmen from the persepective of a huge fan. I rarely rap about comic shit but this book is one of my favorites. And the movie is pretty fucking good too. In fact, I prefer it over Dark Knight.

So if it’s still playing in a dollar theater in your town, check it out. Or just wait for blu-ray. Give the book a good readin’ too.

And maybe if you’re lucky, I’ll soon talk about the new Fast and Furious soon.

Hot or Not: Kiera Knightley?

I bet even the Scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz wouldn’t even want any of this action. Why doesn’t someone throw this bitch a donut? Or a taco? Or an Oreo? And for fuckballs sake, keep her fingers away from her throat! Look what’s happening to her!

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The Fruits of Kiera Knightley (3/2009)

I saw Domino in theaters a couple years back. I remember a scene where our beloved Kiera became topless. At the time, I was too shocked to cover my eyes. It was a horrifying sight – like looking in on a dressing room full of 10 year-old boys changing before a baseball game. I think I have bigger boobs than her. So does my mailbox. Why do people want to penetrate her?

Hot or Not: Zelda from Pet Semetary

Holy orafice clogger. I saw this movie when I was in 2nd grade and let me tell you, this movie fucked me up. It wasn’t because of how it showed people burying things that came back to life or how it had a creepy little kid running around killing people and biting their necks.

No, something else fucked me up. This one scene I am about to describe messed my sleeping schedule up for weeks when I was young. I remember lying on my back with my eyes open for hours, constantly looking around, making sure this creepy thing wasn’t in my room.

“What are you talking about bro?”

There is a scene where a woman describes her childhood with her sister. It cuts to a flashback and shows said sister – Zelda’s her name – rolling around in a bed with soup pouring out of her mouth. This bitch made Regan from The Exorcist look like Strawberry Shortcake. Hideous fucking creature! The worst part of it all happens near the end of the film. It cuts back to present day and Zelda’s sister is wandering about looking for her son. She opens a door to a bedroom and there is Zelda – all creepy looking in the corner of the room. Then she turns around and charges the camera, screaming, “Never get out of bed again!”

Fucking creepy.

When I watch it now, of course, there is nothing about that scene that is even remotely scary (other than the fact that I learned Zelda was actually played by a dude). Here it is: fast-forward to minute 3. Nothing, right? When I was a kid, that scene messed me up like a tornado in Oklahoma. I literally thought she was going to come out of my television.

So now I dare ask, is Zelda hot or not (and for the sake of argument, let’s forget she is played by a dude)?

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Put it to my lips… (2/2009)

Top Ten Films of 2008

“I don’t love her, she kicked me in the face!” – Val Kilmer as Madmartigan in Ron Howard’s Willow (1988).

There is no excuse as to why my absence here (and pretty much every website I’ve written for) has been so long without any word of return. So I will come back the only way I know how… by doing my favorite thing.

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The Next One Will Be Better… (1/2009)

Summing up the year in cinema for the six people in my life (both in real life and internet life) that still know I exist, and even care about what I have to say about cinema. Especially now that the Oscar nominations are out. This goes out to you… even though we are so far into January now that no one will care.

“Willow, this is war, not agriculture.” – Val Kilmer as Madmartigan in Ron Howard’s Willow (1988)

I find myself putting together this list during a voluntary viewing of Willow on DVD. Not a good movie by any stretch but what humorless bastard out there doesn’t get a kick out of hearing Val Kilmer calling Warwick Davis (a fellow little person) a ‘peck’? Makes me smile every time.

Without further ado, and blabbering, I bring you this list. This list consists of my personal favorites of the year and to those of you who know me best, you may find it somewhat surprising.

Top Ten Best Films of 2008 Continue reading “Top Ten Films of 2008”

Goldie Hawn in the 70s…

I just got done watching Foul Play (Colin Higgins, 1978) and I have to say, Goldie Hawn was certainly delicious in the 70s.

What happened?

So I drew this picture of her, in a style very different than anything I’ve done before. Thoughts?

Did you drop acid earlier tonight? (8/2008)