Review: Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark

I am going to start off this entry with a bold statement that will sure to attract the attention of cinema snobs all over – horror films simply don’t exist anymore. You can argue the finer points of some lesser-known foreign masterpiece all you want. But deep down in your heart, you know you weren’t actually scared when you watched [Rec] or Martyrs. Not like you were when you saw Jaws for the first time. No matter how much we love to watch teenagers (or anyone really) get destroyed on screen, there hasn’t been a film in a while that really connects us with the characters to have us even care in the first place.

Stuff Your Kids Say: The Dinosaur Kid

The lady (her name is Kimberly) works at a private school for little (rich) kids. Often times, she comes home from work and shares with me these stories of hilarity. Mostly involving the weird and silly things kids say. Kids of the younger persuasion are the best types to hold a conversation. They really do say the craziest things. The other day, she told me of such a conversation.

To Robert Schimmel…

Robert Schimmel was a comedian who spent a good deal of his later career talking about his experience with cancer. It was great to hear him discuss such an issue with as an open discussion as possible. He was as hilarious as he was sad. I had the great fortune of seeing him perform in Tampa last year. He was a master of his craft.

He passed away Friday in a tragic car accident. Perhaps that was our creator’s big joke. The man survived such a horrific cancer ordeal, only to be ended in a car accident. Here is to you, fine sir.

Mr. Robert Schimmel (9/2010)

Characters in Sense and Sensibility I wanted to kill while reading it…

As you may or may not know, fine reader, is that I’ve recently enrolled in Graduate School (as generic as that sounds) and am on the fast-track to earning my Master’s Degree in English Education. Some of the courses I’ve enrolled in this semester are literature based (as I am a big fan of those pesky bricks of paper containing words and story). One of the first novels I have to read for my Romanticism course is Jane Austen’s Sense and Sensibility. I’ve never read Austen before. Reading this novel now, I can understand why.

Austen didn’t write for the people. She wrote for the middle-to-upper class (more upper than middle) and her stories take place in said worlds. I don’t care about rich people. Especially rich white girls whining about the possibilities of marriage.

“But dude, the girls in this story aren’t rich. They really don’t have that much.”

Okay, you read a different book. In the book I read, the so-called girls who don’t have much have servants. Yes, multiple servants. Ask any poor person you know if they have servants, and the answer will no doubt be no.

While I was reading this wretched filth, my mind started to only care about one thing: who should die first? So I started keeping a list of all the characters in Sense and Sensibility I wanted to kill:

Elinor
Marianne
Mrs. Dashwood
Colonel Brandon
Edward Ferrars
Mrs. Ferrars
Fanny
Willoughby
Lucy Steele
Lady Middleton

Please not Willoughby! (9/10)

I hated each and all of them and just wanted them to die. Over and over again; horrible deaths of doom. We have to read Jane Eyre next. What I know about it makes it sound promising, but I am still a little concerned. Hopefully Bronte writes in a more interesting fashion than Jane Austen. 

Pictures of Doom turns 3!

It was early September of 2007 when City Pictures began with a simple premise: let’s show the world how amazing my skills of illustration are. That was 3 years ago. How time flies.

Since then, we’ve gone through countless header designs, a barrage of ramblings about all things awful and hilarious, touching stories of sadness, and simple tales of idiocy. It’s been a long journey.

Those first 3 months out, City Pictures gathered about 3,000 – 4,000 hits a month. It was way more than I ever though possible. Nowadays, I’m lucky if I even get 1,000 hits a month. This site was once on WordPress’ list of “Fastest Growing Blogs” (September, 2007). What happened? My art and ramblings tired people out I guess. They are sick of it. But what is a poor boy to do? Make some changes, that’s what.

“But dude, what kinds of things are you going to change?”

Actually, as far as content goes, absolutely nothing. My ramblings will still ramble. My art will still rival Picasso.

“So what are you talking about?”

The New Tablet (9/10)

Firstly, the web address is now more permanent: citypictures.wordpress.com is now http://picturesofdoom.com. That sounds so much more official, right?

Secondly, I’ve finally gone and done something I’ve talked about for years… I’ve recently purchased a Wacom Tablet.

“What the Hell is that, bro?”

It’s a tool that allows me to draw on my computer with an actually pencil-like tool. My drawings are about to advance a stage in quality (probably not really). So be on the lookout for that.

Thirdly, I’ve made some changes in theme. Pictures of Doom has had the same theme for the past 3 years. It was about time to change it. I may even change the header again too… Who knows?

Fourthly, regarding you. Why isn’t this link in your favorites list yet? I average about 30-40 hits a day. I know I have more friends than that. My mom and dad read this more often than you. So get on it! Add this to your daily grind. You’re helping a poor man build his ego. How hard is it to comply?

Fifthly, I love when you guys comment here. You notice I always comment back? So comment. I like comments as much as I like attention – a lot.

Sixthly, if you haven’t noticed by now, I started yet another blog. It’s called “Stuff College Kids Wear” and it’s dedicated to the awful fashions of today’s college youth. Go there and enjoy. It could use your help. But don’t think that means you don’t have to read this anymore. Because that isn’t true at all.

Seventhly, I’ve recently updated my blogroll and (unfortunately) had to eliminate a lot of blogs that were abandoned. I’d love to add more to it to replace those fallen comrades. Let me know. If you’re worthy, I’ll add it. Perhaps you can add me too.

Eighthly, Pictures of Doom hit a massive landmark the other day. For the past 3 years, our biggest day earned us 256 unique visits (in a single day). That’s been our biggest day since September 27th, 2007. Since that day, we’ve never even come close to breaking that record. Until now. For some reason or another, on September 1st, 2010, Pictures of Doom got 758 unique hits! That’s over 700 hits in one single day! That’s crazy! It seems that posting my entry on how to teach sexual education the proper way to kids (AKA The 3 Ps) on Reddit really benefitted my life. Go Reddit!

That’s it I guess. Any questions? Concerns? Suggestions? Hit me up. It’s only going to get worse from here.

Thank you for all your visits. They really are special to me.