Pictures of Doom is Dead…

UPDATE: My picture days are over. Come to my new home by clicking right here. See you later.  

“Wait, what?”

Yes, the headline of this entry is true. City Pictures, aka Pictures of Doom, is about to die. By the time you finish reading this entry, you will realize there will be no more words ever to be posted here.

We had a good run. It’s been over 4 years since I started this. I’ve drawn hundreds of pictures, made fun of countless people, gained a ton of readers during the height of the site, and then lost them all during long hiatuses (is that even a word?) from yours truly.

“Why are you ending it dude?”

Simple, really. I really don’t want to be that guy who writes a few stories a month and then disappears. That is just crazy train. It gets peoples’ hopes up before smashing them in the face with the reality that nothing is coming for months. I often sit around and try to think of new stuff to write. Only I come up short. There just isn’t anything going on in my world that I feel hasn’t been tackled yet.

I still hate when dudes don’t shave their necks, loathe the Spiderman trilogy, laugh at people who smell, and dislike most movies I see. I barely write anymore because I know it’s something you’ve probably heard me say before. So why say it again.

I have made a lot of friends with a lot of bloggers here. I will still read their blogs (what else is there to read?) and show my support. But, as for this, I can’t muster up the originality to create new stuff. I haven’t been happy with the past few months worth of pictures I have drawn. Perhaps I need to learn Illustrator a little better? I actually feel that my pictures have downgraded in quality since this thing started and when I started it, it was for the purpose of improving my craft. There is a goal I didn’t really succeed in. I also feel my writing lately has just been done for the sake of getting it done. It hasn’t been that great.

I have been writing online for various people/places for a long time. I am tapped out of words I think. The archives will live on though. So feel free to search around and read things written long ago, during the Pictures of Doom prime (as I call it).

So I guess that is it. It was great to provide the 17 of you who read this frequently a bit of entertainment in your day. Your emails and comments have made me smile more than you will ever know. But it is time for me to move on to something else. Even if I have no idea yet what that will be.

I shall miss you all. Farewell, until next time.


“Goodbye My Sweet”

You know that sad giraffe you often see in my pictures?

Back in 2002, right around the time I wrote Rabbit and Future (which was then ruined by a certain Eminem movie), I wrote another story. It was called Goodbye My Sweet and it told the tale of a man named Bill, his wife Wendy, and his sad Giraffe. This is where he came from.

I’m not going to go into too much detail here about what the plot entails because, unlike Rabbit and Future, I have decided to remake this story.

“What does that mean to me?”

I am not sure yet but I have already started it up. You see, the story is simply too big for me to post in a blog entry here for you to see. So, since I will be unemployed soon and all, I’ve decided to embark on drawing it up again – modernizing it City Pictures of Doom style – for all of you to see. Want to see the original cover?

coverGoodbye My Sweet 2002 (2/2002)

Only I am going to go big this time. Last summer I mentioned that I would be doing some original paints for you to purchase at ass cheap prices. But that never actually happened, what with all the moving I did and so forth. That isn’t happening this time.

I already started beefing up the story (meaning I am re-drawing it from scratch). Also, in 2002, I noticed that my story lacked a little bit. The only way to fix that is to add a few new pages. What’s next?

The only thing I can do, aside from posting it here, is to get it printed.

“Wait… what?”

Yes, I am going to get it printed. Create a book with a nice layout and get a nice print job going for it. It will be the first ever City Pictures book.

“How can I get one?”

Goodbye My Sweet will be ready to ship in July. This new version will be in complete color, with redrawn characters, backgrounds, and more story. In the next month or two, I will post some pictures of the final product, a page sample, as well as pricing information and where you can get it. It’s going to be a super limited edition first (and probably only) pressing so you probably have to act fast. Again, those details will come.

“What’s this on my head?”

I went to a gathering of sorts with a mostly male audience Friday night. I was up for over 24-hours (thanks to my crazy work schedule) but decided the evening would best be spent with an adult beverage or two. After a few of those and a quick round of Power Crank (this is a game invented by my friend John and I – involving one shot of beer every minute for the duration of the film), I passed out faster than a deer with buckshot in its brain. When I woke up the next day, I noticed something drawn on my freshly shaved head.


Dreams of Sweetness (1/2009)

The funny thing is, I didn’t notice it until after I threw up the next morning. I did the business, then headed to the sink to wash my mouth out. After some moaning, rinsing, and rubbing, I looked in the mirror. I noticed some Sharpie colors on the side of my head. I turned my head slowly to see what the business was. But before I saw it in full, I already knew there would be a penis — a donger — right there on my dome.

“Shit, I’ve been had!” I thought.

Then I chuckled. I probably would have done the same thing if I noticed a bald guy sleeping on the couch. Only the Michaelangelo who drew this reproductive organ on my head wasn’t too skilled in the art of illustration, like yours truly. This cock was so small; small as if it just exited a cold pool or ocean. It was frightened. Scared. Alone.

Should I have illustrated it, it would have been glorious. Like this one a student of mine drew in my classroom. This bastard covered a whole desk with a cock the size of a small child. You should have seen it; this thing was huge. It could’ve conquered New York City. This one on my head though, couldn’t conquer an ant hill.

To the illustrator of the penis on my cranium, kudos to you. I had a good laugh and thankfully, it wasn’t hard to clean. In fact, it was very limp.

Forgive me father, for I have sinned…

It has been almost 6 days since my last entry. I don’t want to be one of those bloggers who claim ‘life is to busy’ and such, but that’s the real deal. There is a lot of action going on here. Plus, I barely have internet at my house right now, so it’s hard to upload new business.

Enough about me, how have you guys been? Good? That’s good to hear. Did you see that new Hulk movie or did you see The Happening? I pretty much liked that green monster film but have been a little scared to see that other one. I just don’t know if I can rock that style, naw mean?

But all of this is pointless really. Stupid questions to make up for my lack of an interesting story or what not. I have, however, come up with an idea to tackle this summer. I am going to be creating some pictures in the real world. Yes, you read right… I am going to take on the art of real art – painting with real brushes on a real canvas. How crazy is that? Depending on how they turn out, maybe some of you might be interested in an authentic Picture of Doom, eh?

Or not. Whatever. For now, here is another binary drawing of absolute doomness. I promise more tales of intrigue and delirium before the week is over. But none of this matters to any of you right? Because no one reads this blog anymore anyways. I guess everyone is tired of me recycling the same Illustrator tools over and over, thus making all my brilliant masterworks look the same. Sorry. How about this?

Mr. Coffee Mug (6/2008)

“Careful with that Mic”

So this fellow blogger named Evyl hosts these “Freak of the Week” contests, where a picture is posted to inspire random captions. You can see last week’s contest here. It was the first time I participated and my personal quote for that was, “If I show you these, will you forget I have a cock?” Surprisingly to all I’m sure, I ended up winning.

Rabbit and Future

Back in late 2001/early 2002, I wrote and illustrated a fine children’s tale, entitled Rabbit and Future. It was about a Rabbit and his robot friend Future. They were the best of friends. But one day, Future malfunctioned. And he was an out-of-date robot, so Rabbit had to travel the lands to find the one person/thing with the part he needed to fix his good friend Future.

But the only person he could find with said part was a shady character named Fat Grady. Grady agreed to fix Future but only if he could eat Rabbit as payment. Rabbit didn’t want to be eaten but he wanted his friend Future to live onward. He loved his friend that much.

So Grady fixed Future and when he awoke, Rabbit told him about his impending doom. “What?” said Future, “You can’t do this.” But Rabbit had to, as he was a man of his word. So Grady ate him, against Future’s protest.

Don’t get sad yet though, because the story had a happy ending. Future got pissed and shot lasers out of his eyes at Grady, and Rabbit came back to him and they were friends till the end.

The sad thing happened a few months later, when a film by Curtis Hanson called 8 Mile came out. In that film, Marshall “Eminem” Mathers plays an upcoming rapper named B-Rabbit. His friend and mentor? Well, his name was Future. Rabbit and Future. How could this be? A big Hollywood film, starring one of the world’s biggest rappers and directed by an Academy Award winning filmmaker, has an odd similarity to my little story.

Regardless, the story never saw the light of day. I tried and tried and tried to come up with new names for my characters but these two names were simply perfect. Just look at them.


Rabbit and Future (3/2008, based on works created in 2001/2002)

What else could I have named them? I’m not quite sure. Maybe when I am 75 and compile an anthology of my works, Rabbit and Future will present itself. Until then, this is all I can show.